Vacay -- The First Days

WHEW!  It's been a whirlwind already!  So, today, we decided to attempt to take it easy.  We're hanging out at the resort, swimming, and you guessed it... EATING!  I am TRYING to be sorta good, but man is it hard with all the nummy stuff here!  I already feel bloaty.  LOL  I am trying to be good for at least the majority of my meals but snack hasn't been good the last couple of days.  But breakfast and snack have been moderate -- which is what I had planned.  I'm just surprised I am even able to write right now!  I guess since we're having a down day, I'm able to just sit here for a change.  We are worn out from the pool, waiting for food to come, and the boys are playing.  So, I'm getting to just sit for a bit.  NICE!

So, with all this eating and stuff, I fully expect to gain like, 10lbs.!  LOL  I am trying not to be too rough on myself because I knew I would probably gain some on vacay.  And I also know that I'm not being horrid.  And that I don't want to stress myself out or be worse just because I'm upset over a number.  So, I may not weigh when I get home.  I may not weigh until the end of the month just because I don't want to psych myself out over just vacation bloat.  Especially since I know that vacation is two weeks out of the year.  The other 50 I'm pretty good.  And heck, I'm not being horrid now.  But I am enjoying myself.  The pool here is just AWESOME.  The kiddos are loving it!  We haven't been to Disney, yet.  We are thinking of going Monday since we are thinking that the weekday will be less busy AND the launch is that day so we're hoping that will mean the park is less packed.  Not to mention, most places are still in school.  But we'll get there eventually!

Tomorrow, we're going to go see some old military friends.  We haven't seen them in at least 4yrs.!  So, it will be nice to drive over and see them.  We have some other friends we want to try to see, too, but I know that at least one of them has a wedding this weekend.  So, they will probably be next weekend.  The other friend I haven't heard from, yet.  I sure hope she's ok.  Her updates on FB haven't sounded too happy lately.  I haven't seen her in so many years.  I sure hope to see her, but I DO understand if she has a lot going on right now and doesn't have time.  I AM a bit nervous to see them just because it's been so long.  Not that I've changed much.  I think I am a bit heavier for one friend (the one I may not see) but the others have seen me at this weight.  Heck, probably higher!

I do wish I had lost a bit more before vacay, but you know overall I think I'm good.  They're my friends and love me the way I am.  I am trying to look at myself with my friends eyes more than I use to.  I think I am too hard on myself.  People that know me may look at me and think, oh she's gained some.  But they aren't as judgmental as I sometimes think I don't believe.  And not nearly as hard on me as I am on me.  I know I am not that way to them, so why be to myself?  And I have to be honest, vacation helps with that.  I came here to this nice resort and I see all kinds of women with all kinds of body shapes and weights and in the end, we're just all different.  Some heavier, some taller, some older.  It's all about perspective.  And I think for a long time mine has been skewed.  I've seen myself as this ugly fat person when that isn't who I am at all.  I'm only 5'4", but I have a nice hourglass body shape so I carry my weight well.  I have a nice face shape and nice skin.  My eyes are a nice blue and I have cute toes and a cute nose.  I LOVE my fingernails.  I am diggin' my current red hair, but I look great with natural black/brown, too.  I have long eyelashes and my hair is usually pretty easy to work with.  I know how to dress... well, most of the time and I'm not afraid to try new things with my hair, make-up, or clothes.  I'm smart.  I really am!  LOL  And I'm creative.  I'm a weird mix of art and brains but with a very conventional side.  Overall, I'm this pretty darn cool chick who just happens to weigh a bit more than I would like.  So, I am going to STOP mentally bashing myself.  I WILL.

I am not saying I'm giving up on weightloss.  Far from it.  I am still going to lose this weight but I have GOT to stop focusing on just a number.  I'm getting there and I realize that.  I really am learning and changing.  And it's about time since I just turned 31!  HA!  So, my point is I am not going to get down just because I'm having some fun on vacation.  I am going to relax, have a good time, attempt to be pretty good, and then keep working when I get home.  Yup.  That's the plan and I'm stickin' to it!

Well chicks, I am SURE the hubbs will be back soon so I am going to go.  Sorry I am going to be so far behind on blogs, but until I have another day of just sitting around, etc., I won't be able to catch up.  I'm not even sure how often I will be able to blog over the next couple of weeks.  And yes, we're on vacation for nearly two weeks.  I'm not sure why so many people think that is so strange, but apparently people think it's weird we take 2 week vacations.  I mean, I just feel like if we're going to go, go and make it worth it, ya know?  Ok, ok.  Going for real.  G'night chicks!