Ladies (and any gents who might read this), I think I may have a problem? YOU? You ask? Why, yes! Yes me! Over here! Curvy redhead with the big mouth! LE SIGH. I indeed have a problem and my problem is I am almost 100% positive that I like my online friends more than my real life friends. You see, up until I moved here to East TN 5yrs. ago, I always had a VERY active social life. Between Girl's Night Out, Movie Nights, BBQ's, and any other form of just hanging out, I was ALWAYS busy. And I loved it. It wasn't required or anything, it was just one of those things. We were always going and doing and having a great time. Now, I know you may be thinking, well, I bet that was before kids! Nope. You see, in VA, no one really cared I had a child and they still wanted to hang out! Yes, I DID have to arrange a sitter or wait for hubby to be home, but it wasn't a deal breaker. Many times we would take the kids and just hang out at someone's house or they would come over and hang out after DS went to sleep. But alas, that has not happened here. The people here are just so.... self absorbed and it seems like it's a struggle to make friends. I mean, I DO still have all the Navy friends but we all live so far apart now. THAT has been hard. We really were like a family. So in some ways, I feel like a piece of me is gone. But here. UGH. HERE!!!!! I am frustrated. I have made no really close friends in the time we've been here and our neighbors... well... UGH. How long do you try before you are just burnt out? I think I'm there.
What brought this on? Well, here. This blog. I knew it was coming and I knew that I was feeling frustrated, but it's even more-so now. Everyone on here and even my online friends from FB are there for me MORE than what the live people right next door to me are. How sad and pathetic is that? I find myself on the pute and on the phone more and more because I crave that social interaction. I noticed that I am becoming that crazy lady you run into in the store who just talks and talks and talks -- why? Because once I finally get to talk to someone, it's like mouth diarrhea from where I've basically spoken to no one for days except for a 6yr. old, a 10mo. old, and my dogs. HEH. And the hubby. But ya know, I KNOW that man tunes me out a lot. Can't say as I blame him.
So, what's the problem? I need a life. I've been trying, but so far, not much is happening. Sad, I know. The hubby's solution is to move. I hate to say it, but he hates it here. He feels like he can't be himself and that's a MAJOR issue. My hubby is really modern and likes modern things. How do I explain? Ummm... like on vacay he wore the printed shirts, he hair all styled, and cool modern sunglasses with these badass slip on shoes that we got at one of the outlets. He likes to look nice, smell nice, dress nice. I wouldn't say he's so much metrosexual as his style is almost rockerish. That doesn't fly where we live. Nope. Most of the guys here wear wranglers, baseball caps, and T's. The ones who dress nicer look like my Grandpa. It's been a hard transition. And I'm sure a lot of it is in our heads, but we just feel.... like we're stuck. And me, well, I LOVE clothes and make-up and things. Nothing has to be expensive (love me some TARGET!!!) but I like to play with it. I've had all kinds of piercings, my hair has been every color of the rainbow, and I've had my hair all different lengths. I love to dress up and love to change my make-up. The only person here who I seem to REALLY get along with is British! And she's the same way! I just feel like I am in a hole! URGH! I NEED a social life!
My point is, I am thankful to all you chicks for being so supportive. I'm not sure WHAT I would do without this place. There are times I feel like I'm falling apart. I don't know WHY I need this sense of community, but I sure have it here and it means the world to me. I wish I could give it to my Mom because I think she needs it, too! I just can't become too addicted! LOL I'm on here a bit, but I've got to find other outlets. I'm going to keep trying because, I'm no quitter! And I keep hoping that once oldest is in school, I will meet some of the other Mom's and things will improve. I'm still getting out and doing whatever, but I just wish I had more friends.
OK, now, on to the nitty gritty... 200 flat this AM. I was hoping to see 199 flat. But last night I felt REALLY yucky before bed so I ended up eating some Greek yogurt with a couple of raspberries and pecans. I then drizzled on some SF syrup and ate away. I felt better after, but I'm not use to eating something that late. I think I felt so yucky because my carbs were REALLY low. And it was all my fault. I did great at breakfast and lunch, but I got busy and totally forgot snack! The hubbs wanted my 'garbage soup' for dinner so by the time I got that going and boiling away, I decided to shower. In the shower I kept feeling light-headed and it hit me -- I didn't eat my snack! I should've munched veggies while I was chopping them and ate some lunch meat, but it just never occurred to me! By the time I got out, I figured I would just finish the soup and eat that. I got woozy right after it was done. Then I realized, I'd only had MAYBE 7g of carbs all day! :O That is WAY too low! BAD ME!!! No more missing snack! NONE! I felt awful. So today, I've already eaten and am drinking my water. I plan on doing a protein shake later AND a small snack to get my body back on track. I may have a moderate day today to balance out the really low of yesterday. Although, I'm hoping the yogurt and the berries and nuts balanced out even if it was at the end of the day. So, we will see. But I for sure didn't mean to be that low. I haven't been really counting, just eating what I know I should, but when I did the math, I know I was too low. Funny how ONE little thing can mess you up! And yesterday, it was snack.
Other than that, still plugging away! Drinking at least 2L of water every day on top of other liquids. Been remembering my vitamins and eating LC. Not really 'counting' but at this point, I know the game and the rules. LOL I'm digging my protein shakes a lot right now. I make mine with coffee and LOTS of ice! The recipe is simple and fast. But I am trying to think of other ways I could use my protein powder. And it struck me l should put it in my SOUP! I mean, you can't taste it (I get the NOW whey protein isolate unflavored), so why not give it a go? I plan on buying some more veg when I go to the store, so I may make my fave soup again and try it out. My issue with soup is always getting in more protein. Especially when it's a creamy veg soup. Other soups that are chunky are easy. You just throw in some beans or some tofu or big chunks of chicken or beef. I've even got a couple of recipes for fish that I have yet to try, but there's always something. But with creamy soups, I never know how to get the best bang for the buck. I think I may now have found a way! So, going to give that a go in the next few days, I hope! And yes, I LOVE soup in the summer. I know a lot of people like them in winter, but for some reason I like them in summer. In my mind, they feel light like a salad. And you ladies know how I feel about salad!!!! :D :D :D
Ok, well, now that I've sat here and talked about food, I am starting to think maybe I should work on my grocery list. Not to mention that I am thinking that even if all I do is get out and buy a few things for the house plus groceries, I should get out this afternoon. It's after 2 now and the hubbs still isn't home, so I don't see myself being especially productive otherwise. And I DO need some time out and to myself. Maybe I will go say goodbye to my friend. She IS a nice person and well, she's taking the move really hard from what her hubby said this AM. Plus, I would really like to look at some furniture. I am thinking of having a yard sale and getting rid of what I can. Whatever doesn't sell, I am going to donate. My house isn't super cluttery, but it's time for a change. I don't know WHAT I am wanting, but I want a change and I'm ready for it. Have a great day chicks!
Sorry to hear that you are feeling so isolated. I would say that I can relate, but the truth is I have always been in my element as a loner. I have 2-3 really close friends and that's all I ever want. Right now as luck would have it my bestie (from back home) is stationed here too, but in FL and WA with the Navy I didn't really have any friends that lived there. It might sound harsh, but most of the military wives I have met were catty, gossipy, and two-faced, so I have learned after 5 moves to ignore them. Granted there are some really nice people in this community if you are lucky enough to find them. I'm sure if we had ever been stationed together we would have been great friends, you seem very genuine. :) Right now I live in a duplex style neighborhood (military housing) and I don't even know neighbors name, much less have we ever talked. When we first moved in we had one lady introduce herself, but that was as far as that ever went too. In fact the only people that have stepped foot inside our house are one of my husbands work buddies and my bestie and her family- and we have been here a year now. The only advice I can offer is, either find ways to grow more comfortable with being "alone" or maybe try to find some women's groups in your area. Look for things like crafts classses, mom's groups, avon parties, or even on craigslist for people looking for friends. I know it can be frustrating feeling like you don't have a social life, but it's all what we make of it with what we have. Good luck and I hope that you can find something or someone to make you feel like a social butterfly again. :)
ReplyDeleteI can relate. I moved from the Northeast where all my friends with two years ago. The ONLY person I really know here is my boyfriend whom I love. The nice thing is I'm slowly making new friends but it's hard.
ReplyDeleteMOVE TO TAMPA so we can be bffs :)
I like my online friends more than some RL "friends" too :)
Amen to that. You're not alone girl. My fiance and I live in a pretty small town in the middle of nowhere. I grew up in the city (L.A) and it was a freaking huge adjustment. Heck I'm still adjusting.
ReplyDeleteI truly relate. I used to live in NYC and had plenty of opportunity to socialize. Then my husband and I bought a house in the suburbs and we had to kiss our social network goodbye. We see friends every now and then but it's definitely not the same. When my husband has to work weekends I get pretty lonely. Sure, I have my beautiful baby boy, but I still need interaction with adults. When I go for walks with the baby, I'm always hoping that I'll see neighbors or just SOMEBODY. Someone to meet and talk to. I've been thinking that I should join a moms group or something but I've never been a big group-joiner-person. But somethings gotta give, right?
ReplyDeleteMaybe you and I can motivate each other to make social stuff happen for ourselves, whether it's starting a group or joining a group or taking a class or something. I know that that's really hard to do when you have kids and an already busy schedule, but we both deserve to have some social fulfillment!
I'm thankful to have our 3FC community too. I'm pretty careful about online stuff (for example, I won't do Facebook), but 3FC has been a blessing.
There is NOTHING unusual about longing for a sense of community. And honestly, if you've tried your best and still can't find it where you are currently living, maybe it is time for a move. The reason that I have decided to move to Beaufort, SC is because my happy little community (which is small, but fierce!) that I met in Sarasota is moving there. If you feel that you aren't getting what you need where you are at- get the hell out of dodge! It's better to do it now while your kids are still really young, and don't have serious school attachments.
ReplyDeleteI've had my hair every color too. And I've also had my labret and monroe pierced since highschool. There's nothing wrong with being a little punk rock!
I understand about needing a life! Hubby is 8 years older than I am & I was only 23 when we got married. His friends were different than my friends & then we moved to the southern end of the county that we live in, which was a good 45 minute drive for any of my friends. Well, you find out how good your friends are, when they don't want to drive 45 minutes to hang out & then don't call because it's a local/long distance call. Well, you get into the whole family lifestyle thing & you make friends with people at church & the neighborhood, but nobody that you'd want to go shopping with or share the sorid details of your latest arguement with. You don't know how often I wish I were working, again, just to meet new people! Just to have "adult" coversations!
ReplyDeleteHang in there & hopefully things will work out for you guys soon!