Thursday, February 26, 2015

A little

Today was a wee bit productive.  I purged down a bit more from the last time we worked in the kitchen.  Many a sippy cup disappeared (youngest will be 5 soon and he hasn't used them much in a long time), a random coffee mug, a tea box that was never used, coffee that was stale (meh, decaf!), and then an extra of instant decaf coffee was moved.  I'm not sure why these things were still here, but it was nice to let them go and out of the way.  That one cabinet sure got a lot of room back!  While I had loved that tea box, it just took up WAY too much room.  Time for it to go.  I thought of repurposing it, but I really have no use for it.  So, it's time for it to go. 

You know, I'm liking this trend I am on with purging.  I like that I am at a point in life where keeping things or letting things go is a choice.  The strainer was a great example of that.  It's wonderful being at a point where we don't have to keep something because we can't afford to get something else.  But it's also wonderful to have the skill to repurpose things.  LOL  I was reading on another blog about how the Japanese culture really honors their belongings.  Now, I wouldn't go so far as to have a conversation with my clothing and all that (it was a really funny blog!), but I do think that we are pretty much a throw-away culture in the US.  I think that's taken a turn with the economy tanking.  I hate the tank, but I love how we are getting better about not just trashing things.  With that said, it's a balance.  A balance to re-use things that can have new life, but also to not keep holding on to all of the things that don't make you happy at all.  It's funny, really.  Its the SMALL things.  Like that darn strainer!  Who knew?  You learn something new every single day.

So, the purging has been fun.  I'm seeing what we use and what we don't.  We finally purged all of the old non-stick fry pans and hubby bought a US made Tramontina set.  It's 3 pieces.  Perfect sizes for things like grilled cheese, eggs, and crepes.  They are light but well made and nest perfectly.  I can put all three on ONE of my pan shelves!  It's wonderful!  I'm done buying All Clad pans and now just need the pots.  I love that all freakin' four of the All Clad also nest on ONE shelf!  I still have one empty!  I plan on it staying empty.  :D  I'm ready to get rid of these pots though.  I need one deep pot and then 2 of the regular sizes.  Probably a 4 and a 2qt.  maybe a 1 for butter or small things like sauces.  So far, I've had no luck.  But I'll keep looking!  I will need to purge some of my utensils if I can ever find ones I like.  Truly, the wooden ones are what I use most.  And then the metal.  The only plastic ones I 'like' are the spatulas.  But it's really only one.  I need to figure out what I love and then purge them out.  And replace what I don't love but need with something I do love.  Slowly but surely.

On another front, I'm beginning to love my kitchen.  Not just from the purging.  It's also from the fact that more doors and handles when in today!  So did the bumpers and the shelf liners.  We did the Zip-n-Fit and I really liked working with it.  I'm not sure it's one of those things you 'need', but I'm using it because the shelves themselves were somewhat rough.  I debated over and over on painting them, but in the end, we passed.  It was just more work than I could do.  And in the end, I just didn't think I would get the look I wanted anyways.  So, I used the liner.  It's a foam style liner, and it looks really nice in my opinion.  The corner cabinet was a bit hard, but I think it looks pretty good, too!  Now, if this snow will ever go away and the weather warm back up so I can finish the pantry and island.  LOL

Yes, I am darn happy with the change in the kitchen.  We do have more work to do, but it's slow and steady when I feel decent.  The weather drags me down some, but I keep going on.  I'm still fighting it.  I've been making a point to clean up the house some every day.  Especially trying to stay on top of dishes.  That really helps.  I just try to stay busy.  I don't always succeed and I have restless nights and feel lousy the next day.  But I'm trying.  I'm not sure what we will do tomorrow.  My motivation was up earlier, then dropped, then went up, and now I feel down again.  HA!  It's a fun ride.  NOT.  I really need to find my motivation to stage and take pics of the dining room.  Then I need to finish youngest's room and do the same.  And I need to do the same in the bathroom.  Busy busy.  Maybe I will find some motivation tomorrow.  I hope. 

Not much else to talk about on this snowy day.  I guess I was just super excited about the purging and finishing more on the kitchen.  It's been a big process, but it's been good.  I can't imagine doing this again, but I'm guessing we will.  I'm not sure there is any way around it.  All of the homes we always love are older.  We are a bit wiser, but... I still can't imagine doing it any differently. 

Ok, off I go.  I need a shower, then some dessert, and then maybe bed.  Until later!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Grumps = Sadness?

I'm wondering if my earlier grumpy is now leading me to feeling... sad.  Not sad as in the seasonal thing (I already had that!) but just... sad.  Here's the truth:  I feel like everyone I know is moving ahead in their lives while we sit.  Am I making progress on little things here and there?  Why yes, yes I am.  But are we really moving?  It sure doesn't feel like it.  It feels like we've been stagnant for a while now.  Months.  In the grand scheme, I realize it isn't much.  But it just seems to be dragging.

I'm trying not to mire in the details.  Truly.  I know these things take time.  I'm just pouty.  I have friends having babies, friends back in college, friends traveling and seeing the world, friends kicking it into high gear in their careers.... and I sit.  It's like until this move, our lives are on hold.  You know, you try not to focus on it and you try to enjoy each day because, no one wants to wallow.  But I feel like I'm wallowing even when I'm trying to focus on all of the good going on.  Like the projects and the other stuff.  How can you make progress and still feel so stuck?  I want to just appreciate where I am and NOT focus on the next step, but how do you do that when you feel like you've been on hold for a VERY long time? 

UGH.

Just....

UGH.

I don't want you to think I'm not happy for those around me who are doing their thing.  I'm actually VERY happy for them.  I don't want anyone to be mired down like we are!  And we know what the solution is -- "Just keep swimming!"  I just wish that we were doing something besides waiting.  Waiting and waiting and waiting.  Or should that be treading? 

*sigh*

*SIGH*

UGH.

Monday, February 23, 2015

A Wee Grumpy

I feel a wee bit grumpy today.  I think I stayed up too late last night, but I just couldn't seem to sleep.  And now today, today I am a wee grumpy.  I'm keeping it in check so far, but I'm not sure how long that will last.  Everything feels... out of whack.  UGH.  It's not really.  It just feels like it is.  And now I need to get a plan together for dinner because what I had planned no longer sounds all that yummy. But I need to make something.  I'm also going to make a batch of banana bread if I can make myself get up and do it.  I so wish I had a freakin' cupcake pan, but I don't.  It's either packed or been thrown away.  So, I'm going to have to make it in an actual pan.  BAH. HUMBUG.  I guess I could break out the bread machine, but when it's this cold, I don't mind the heat.  LOL

What I am thinking of doing, is using some muffin mix we have.  It was on clearance a while back and at the time, we were on a muffin kick.  Well, we haven't been since so now we have all of these packs.  They're honey bran and delicious, but I've not been using them.  I think making them into bread and pancakes is a lovely idea!  The only change would be the amount of liquid, I think.  I am going to give it a try.  Can't hurt!  Better than letting them sit there and waste. 

Speaking of waste, out of all of the kiwi's, I think a total of 6 got trashed.  One early on and the last five in the bowl.  I went to eat three, and realized that out of the 6 left, 5 were beyond saving.  :(  I was bummed.  I was looking forward to a fruit salad.  There are SO many in a package, though.  And I think it was only like, $6.  Maybe $8.  And there had to be 18 in there!  So, if we lost 6, then we ate 12.  That means they were only about $0.50 each if it was indeed $6.  Not too shabby.  But next time, I think I'm going to try freezing them.  We haven't been doing great on the freezer challenge this week.  I've kind of... I don't know.  Fell off the wagon with that.  We are still eating stuff out of it, just not hard and heavy like we were.  And when we went to Costco, a few frozen things made their way back in.  We have only been out to eat once, so that is good.  And a few pantry items have been used up.  So... I guess we are doing ok.  But just ok.  I guess progress is progress.  We've used up some rice, a can of soup, and threw away some old taco shells.  They smelled funny.  And some dressing that was just terrible!  I wish we had tried it sooner.  It was awful, awful, AWFUL!  We also used some pasta, some sauce, and... hey!  I guess we're doing better than I thought.  :) 

Not much else has been going on.  I did finish a few more sewing projects today and started on a big one for my SIL.  I'm not sure I'll ever get it done, but I love the design and hope I can finish it for her.  I have another one in mind for a friend of mine, but I haven't started it, yet.  I have this one to work on and then two dresses.  The one dress I already did once, but I think I want it a smidge shorter.  I think I will use a different style of stitch, too.  So, that leaves 3 projects.  I'm pretty happy with that!  My bin is pretty empty now!  :D

I guess that's it other than my high level of grump today.  I think it's just the weather.  I am SO ready to be moved on and doing something different.  I'm ready for change.  I wish I knew some way to do that.  I feel like this blog needs a change, but I'm not sure where to go with it.  I mostly use it like a journal, but I don't feel like I'm making the best use of it.  I need to find my direction, I guess.

Snow Days

All of last week we were out of school for 'snow days'.  I'm just about ready to hurt the person who prayed for snow.  I. AM. OVER. IT.  I'm ready for it to be clear.  I'm ready to be able to have SOME sunshine, I'm ready for the rugrats to be IN SCHOOL!  UGH.  I should be glad and some part of me is.  I'm glad they got some time off to rest and enjoy a real snow day before the big move.  But now I'm ready for this mess to be OVER.  I get that seasonal sad stuff so I'm in desperate need of some sun and fun. 

Anyways, I pretty much spent the last week stuck in the house in my pj's hanging with the kids.  I completely let go of weighing, tracking, etc.  And then I realized that I just wasn't ready to do that again.  I'm not sure why, but I just couldn't do it.  I'm not sure why other than I am in a funk.  I should check old blogs some time and see if this is normal for me.  I'm thinking it is.  But last week I just couldn't find the motivation.  And the week before that, even though I was tracking, I wasn't doing anything real.  I did track, I did workout some, but... it was all half assed.  Tracking but not staying in cals.  Working out was good, I will admit that.  But my heart wasn't in it.  I just couldn't seem to remember to weigh, either.  All in all, I just couldn't... get into it.  I'm not sure why.  But I call it a bust. 

So, this week, today actually, I decided to stop trying to make it so damn hard.  I watched my food but rather than the whole day, I just focused on trying to keep each meal at around 400 and snacks at 200.  Yup.  My old fall back.  I'm not going to focus on MFP or on weighing or any of that.  I'm going to do the best I can and just let go of the rest.  I'm just not ready for anything else.  I just won't do it right now.  So, the old fall back it is.  Better that than giving up.  I'm not sure when I'll have a check in, but for now... it is what it is.  I know I'll either get really upset and frustrated, or really happy and excited, and will report again.  LOL

Otherwise, things house wise are rolling right along.  I've purged a few more things.  I did buy two things, but they weren't things I had been purging.  Although, one was a strainer.  I hated the old one and then asked myself one day, WHY AM I KEEPING THIS THING I HATE?  So, I bought a bigger version of the small one I loved, donated the one I hated, and now instead of having a bunch of random strainers I don't like, I have two strainer/colanders that I LOOOOOVE.  I have one more to chuck, but I can't remember where I put it.  Maybe it's already gone!  LOL  Anyways, I've been purging away.  Cleaning away.  Project doing away.  I finished up 5 sewing projects yesterday along with one jewelry project and I was REALLY happy with that.  I'm not a great seamstress, but I do decent repairs.  And the truth is, I probably save a ton!  And with the jewelry, it's the same.  Except, I'm sorta good at that.  I wouldn't do it to make money, but I enjoy doing it for myself when there is something I want and I can't quite find what I'm looking for. 

All in all, trying to make the best of the time stuck in the house.  Trying to be productive and not let the SAD take over my life.  Trying to just... get through.  I guess that is all.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Progress, not Perfection

Safire, aka Grace, over at Grace Dishes posed the question of which quote inspires you.  Mine has been, and probably will be for the rest of my life, "Progress, not Perfection".  I can't remember who originally posted that phrase, but I know it was over at 3FC when I first heard it and it stuck.  I heard it when I was sort of down, and I NEEDED a positive affirmation.  Anyways, since that day, I've had it in my head to always be making little progressions to being better rather than trying to achieve perfect by my (or anyone else's) standards.  I've realized, that it doesn't take anything drastic to achieve goals.  You don't have to do specialty shakes, specialty workout programs, become Vegan or even starve yourself and work out for 4hrs. a day.  Not that you can't do those things if you want.  Except the starve thing -- that's not really a good idea.  My point is, you just have to make changes.  Make progress.  Keep moving.  And not get mired down in the details.

Cause I'm a mired in the details kind of gal, that concept is hard for me at times.  But I try.  :)  That's all any of us can do.

The last few days have been high calorie wise.  I've done a LOT of cleaning, projects, and etc.  I keep telling myself that, today I need a REST day.  But so far, that hasn't happened.  Like now, I'm trying to sit here and all I can think about is cleaning.  Yup.  And painting.  But I know, for the sake of my health and sanity, I should take a break.  My hands and arms hurt pretty bad.  So, I KNOW I need the break.  They, and my brain, feel... heavy.  Yup.  Heavy is the right word.  I want to dust and vacuum, and the rest I will make wait.  I need to.  I have to!  Or I won't be any good for anything else this weekend.  I don't have anything planned, but if I'm exhausted, I can't do anything.  So, only dusting and vacuuming the upstairs and foyer today.  And water.  Lots and lots of water.  And catching up my food diary.  I'm a bit behind.  I think I did breakfast yesterday, then nothing.  Thankfully, I was busy so not much was done in the random eating dept.  I did have a bit of candy, but I had that at snack time, so I counted it as that. 

I guess that is it.  I think I'm going to play a bit on the ol' Xbox and then go ahead and vacuum then dust.  And attempt to only do that when I am itching to do other stuff.  LOL  Until later!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

OK

OK, so I decided to take my Negative Nancy self and get some work done, and I did.  The rest of the laundry is folded and put away.  And I organized all of the doors downstairs and got the remaining doors primed.  I also did the other pieces that were randomly laying around that needed primer.  Yessss.....  So, I am super happy about that.  Plus, errands are all done.  That means that come tomorrow, I need to do some house work and... and I don't know what.  Something.  Maybe more primer?  Maybe just housework?  Maybe something else?  I don't know.  But.. stuff. 

Also, don't die, but I ALSO got in a quick work out!  Yup.  I did.  So, all in all, I'm trying to take any energy I have, and turn it positive.  I know it doesn't always work, but it seems to have today.  And I am thankful. 

One of THOSE days

I'm having one of those days where my motivation and joy is at a low.  VERY low.  I just don't feel like things are going anywhere.  I shouldn't feel that way, I guess.  Progress on the house is happening, the school year is moving along, etc. and so on.  But I mean I feel like we are making zero progress on the job and moving front.  It's just not happening.  Which means I am beginning to wonder if it is suppose to.  It just seems like nothing is happening.  Because, it's been nearly 9mos. at this point and nothing has worked out.  Our house isn't finished.  We haven't found a new place to buy or rent.  No job.  Nada.  Just seems like at some point, you have to throw in the towel.  I don't think I'm there, yet.  I  just feel like we are stuck.  And I don't know what to do.  I feel like we've been patient.  If this doesn't work, I'm not sure what the plan would be from here.  We aren't out of options, but I am for sure out of ideas. 

No, not pity party over here.  No time for one. 

Today hasn't been super productive so far.  I have gotten the errands run, so I'm super happy about that.  Although, I forgot the Zyrtec I went to get.  BAH!  Hubby said he would stop for that.  Other than that... not much has been done.  I guess we will see.

On an irritating note, my weight is up this AM.  I checked it last night since I forgot to in the AM and it said 183.5.  That was fine.  Then this morning, 184.5.  I mysteriously gained a pound over night!  LOL  I'm not sure what it is, but it's fine.  I'm not going to dwell on it.  Now if it kept going up every day, THAT would be an issue!  Over time, though, I've realized that weight just does this.  And since I'm trying to get a base line for the month, I expect to see lots of ups and downs from daily weighing.  The good news is, I'm tracking my food and getting back into the groove of it.  Once in a while, I catch myself after popping something in my mouth and think, ugh, now I'll have to count that.  LOL  But that's good!  That means I'm catching any bad habits that have snuck in.  My cals are still a bit higher than I should be, but I am working on it.  It seems I consistently eat around 1800-1900 cals on a regular day.  Which is about what my maintenance is, so that is good.  But I need to get that down.  I have it at 1600 right now, but may go a bit lower.  Nothing drastic.  Just 1500 to give me a bit of cushion since I am down to my last 20ish-30ish pounds.  So, I am working on that.  Using my time on the bike for FB has done well, too!  Now to get in more pilates and not just my cardio.  :)  I know I won't 'build' muscle, but I'd like to tighten up what is there.  I don't think my knees or hips are going to allow much lifting.  Which sucks.  I hope to work it in starting out super light, but we will see.  Just going to do what feels good and go with it.

I guess that is it for today.  I need to enter my food, update my weight, and then... do something.  Until later.