Monday, March 30, 2015

Overwhelmed

My brain is currently overwhelmed with the amount of stuff going on.  I'm trying to not stress.  I'm trying to just focus on one thing at a time.  But it's hard, ya'll!  I'm not sure where to start?  Heck, I don't even remember what I wrote about last.  BRB.

Ok, I remember now.  So, let's recap.  Hubby go the job, we haven't sold our house or found a new place, and I feel fat. 

Yup.  That's about it.  And it's all about the same!  Ok, not entirely true.  The shortest thing is I am still feeling fat.  My weight is still high, but I'm not sure what I can do right now.  We have busted hump for about the last week and I am sore and swollen.  I'm not working out because I'm working on the house for 10+hrs. a day and I'm just too pooped.  I'm doing ok on food, I think.  I am hungrier than normal, but I'm trying not to go crazy.  I'm not formally tracking, but trying to keep to the 1600 with the 400 for meals and 200 for snacks.  I know I've missed snacks a few times.  :/  Just too busy to stop, really. 

On the house front, we are making great progress.  We are doing a Realtor interview on Tuesday (tomorrow) so we are excited about that.  Although, we are annoyed that our neighbors STILL have a huge mess in their front yard on their porch.  It's AWFUL.  I'm trying not to panic and praying that God will move things so that the mess is cleared.  I keep wanting to say something, but I don't want to make their feud worse.  Cause it's a feud for sure!  And I also don't really want to get involved.  My reasons for wanting the mess cleared up are purely selfish because the mess reflects badly on the neighborhood and my home -- which hurts resale.  UGH.  I really pray that they clean it up and soon. 

Anyways, back to the house!  We've finished up a ton of projects.  The weather wasn't great, so nothing outside and not as much painting as I would've liked, but a ton anyways.  I didn't get the kitchen cabinet doors done, but the island is ready for it's final coat.  The stove vent is done.  All the trim is in.  The bathroom got touched up and finished.  ALL of the trim/doors/whatever upstairs has been caulked, patched, and primed.  I have one area that was large and I need to go back over with the caulk, but that isn't too bad.  Stairs got stripped, stained, and have a coat of poly.  I will do a light sand and another coat soon.  Basically, we need to be finishing the white on the trim on the master bedroom door and closet door, hallway, and rail.  Paint in the hallway.  I just remembered the ceiling in the master closet!  I redid that area and it looks much better, but that half needs to be repainted.  The downstairs really saw no progress other than the stairs.  It will just have to wait. 

Today is going to be clean up day.  The whole house has a bad layer of dust and is just... nasty.  Stuff is piled up everywhere, hair is all over the place.  Just a mess.  So, we are going to spend some time cleaning.  If that doesn't take as long as we are worried it will, we will work on some more projects later today and tomorrow.  For me, mostly painting.  For hubby, mostly trim and installations.  It feels like we got so much done but there is so much more left to do.  I'm not worried about it, but I know that things need to get done and well... I want to focus and get it done.  If I have time today to paint, I will work in the master since hubby will be occupying that a lot over the next few days.  I can work on other stuff during that time.

So, all in all, progress on our house has been great, but we are stalled out on finding a new place.  The mortgage company is now saying that we can't do a loan because he has put in notice at his old job, and hasn't yet started the new.  They said they might could do it with a letter from the new company, which I believe we have in our room somewhere.  We just have to run the numbers and see.  But we don't really have a house to buy... except maybe the first townhome that fell through.  They have reduced the price.  SHOCK.  An extended stay hotel is turning out to be SUPER high.  Like, over 2k for 28 days!  And we aren't having much luck finding rentals -- hubby is actually on the phone about that right now.  I'm thinking a rental is our best option at this point if we can find one.  The only issue is, so far, we've only found one place that allows a max of 4 pets.  We have 6.  I'm afraid that two of our cats are going to have to be re-homed.  I'm not sure what else to do.  Unless we can buy, we are running out of options.  I'm not sure what we will do, but we have to figure out something.  I'm praying God will move in a big way in this, too!

Well, I guess that is all for now.  I really should get going on my very long list of things to do.  I think I am going to get downstairs and straighten the garage and get some laundry going so things can start getting put back away where they belong.  After that, some cleaning and then painting if I have time and energy.  That's not looking so good at this point as I feel REALLY tired.  UGH. 

Sunday, March 22, 2015

FAT

Yup.  That's how I feel lately.  Not just with a capital 'F' but with allllllll the capitals!

With so much going on, once again, my health and weight have fallen to the back burner.  I knew with this trip, because we were staying in a hotel, we would eat out quite a bit or eating easily portable snacks.  Our hotel had a lovely coffee center and free breakfast so we took advantage of that quite a bit.  We did go out to eat, but we tried to snag all of our coffee and snacks there and at least a couple of breakfasts.  We also tried to pay cash for a few meals.  I still hate to see the credit card statement now.  :/

Anyways, with eating out so much, I knew any progress that I had made over the last couple of weeks of trying to watch my portions better would go out the window.  And sure enough, I woke up and weighed this AM.  Yes, I did get my cycle over vacation and I am barely over that plus I bloat when traveling, but still.  I need a starting point and today was as good a day as any to get on it.  186.  I. Could. Cry.  No joke.  But there is no time for that.  Basically a 10lb. gain.  I have to quit ignoring my weight and health just because other stuff is going on.  And yes, I did just get home last night, but today is back to it day.  No putting it off.  No saying I don't have the motivation or whatever.  Just gotta shut up and do it, for heaven's sakes. 

So, already my little notebook is out and I'm making notes of what and how much I eat and running the numbers.  I'm not sure if I will do that or MFP or what, but either way I'm taking notes and paying attention.  Just gotta suck it up and do it.  Just like with everything else.  I've been ignoring my own advice of moderation.  I've not done any dieting or working out at all -- that's not moderation.  I've ignored myself!  How stupid is that? 

I guess that is all for now.  It's taken me a bit to 'mind dump' all of this and now, now I should get up from here and do a few things.  Thankfully, while we were gone, I shut up most of the house to keep the animals out, so the vast majority of the house is in decent shape.  Especially since I cleaned well before we left.  But the fridge is a mess, the litter is full, and I need to unpack and do this and that.  All that fun stuff! Plus, let's get real, I need to work out.  I need to burn a few calories, get my stress under control, and stop putting it off.  So, off I go!

Back to the Beginning

In many ways, we are back at the beginning.  Hubby does have a new job, but we still haven't found a new place nor sold our old one.  I'm trying not to stress about it.  What do I do not to stress?  I write and talk.  LOL  I also tend to work.

So, that is my plan.  I'm going to work.  There are still quite a few things that need to be done around here to get the house on the market.  I mostly want to work on getting things out.  We have a lot of things still on the wall that should be packed.  Plus some things that need to be sold.  And then things that are going to friends/family.  I had wanted to leave a few things to allow the house to look 'staged', but I'm thinking that we really need to get things out.  I don't want to be stressed at the last minute trying to get things done.  If this was TV, it would be different.  But this is real life and we need to get this done. 

Our storage building is full now (after that last haul off) and is already paid up through April.  So, I don't see the point in moving that stuff again until we need to.  But I'm thinking that once I am done with a couple of projects, I will be using the garage area for storage.  It's that or the office area, and that won't work.  And I will have to be careful to keep our donate/sell pile separate.  Or cleaned up.

I will just have to keep on keeping on slowly but surely.  We want to finish a few things and then list.  We had hoped to before now, but man alive things have come up one after the other, ya know?  I guess in many ways that has been good -- it has given the market a chance to improve a smidge.  I think we will go ahead and list on Zillow soon and talk to a friend of ours about adding to the MLS.  I don't care to do the open houses or the showings myself (did it in the last house), but I want someone to go over the paperwork.  I can even handle the calls.  Just paperwork and all the mumbo jumbo legal language is confusing.  And since it's an all new world of real estate since we last sold... better safe than sorry.

Not to mention that with so much on my mind, I feel scatter brained.  Which I HATE.

And fat.  I feel fat today.  More on that in the next blog.

Crazines

The last week has been craziness.  Utter and complete craziness.  And today, today I feel worn out.

What's weird is I also feel like talking and not talking all at once.  :/  It's a weird sensation.  So, I'm on here writing just to see if I can manage the feelings and emotions.

First and foremost, we made our trip down to FL.  It was sort of last minute and really put us in the negative -- so there goes my budget for getting out of debt.  But there wasn't much to be done about it.  We planned and then canceled and then at the very last minute, decided to go on ahead.  It took some major maneuvering, but we managed to get it back on and go in a timely manner.  We had prayed that if we were to go, God would move in a big way to make it clear and a clear path.  So, we got the all clear from a new house sitter, hubby got a call about a job interview, and just... all fell into place so we went. 

All in all, I would say the trip was a success.  Yesterday it didn't feel that way, but we were lagging and tired.  Even the day before, we felt more stressed than relieved.  But really, we should feel like it was a success.  I think what put a damper on it is that our house fell through.  Yes, again.  This time was at a house close to the bay.  We had put in an offer, negotiated, and got a yes.  But then after another walk trough, something felt off.  I never could put my finger on it.  It was weird.  Later that evening, hubby checked the FDLE list and sure enough, the guy next door is a convicted and registered Sexual Predator.  Not just a Sexual Offender, but a PREDATOR.  We had to walk away.  HAD TO.  I could not live right next door and worry about that all of the time.  I worry enough about it!  I felt bad backing out, but we felt it was the right thing. 

So, we were a little on edge about no house.  We looked at several properties with (and without) our realtor.  We called about rentals.  We ran ourselves ragged but no house really came into view until the night before we were to leave.  Friday night.  In truth, the house is out of our price range.  It needs some major work on the outside.  Nothing we couldn't do, but still.  WORK.  And for the price it is, that shouldn't be the case.  I can see if it was just updating due to age or taste, but this is neglect that can over time affect the functionality of the home.  It is a Foreclosure, so we are debating putting in an offer.  We like the home, but I am reluctant to allow anything more because we've already really liked/loved two other properties and it has fallen through.  I'm trying to leave this in God's hands to guide us.  If it's His will, it will happen, ya know?  I'm like that with most things and thinking that if it's meant to be, it will eventually work out.  We haven't done that with our home search and I think we should.

Of course, we haven't sold the home we are in and I think that getting ready to move from here needs to become priority.  Because... HUBBY GOT THE ENGINEERING JOB!  In truth, the pay isn't what we had hoped, but at this point, I think it is more important that he be happy than we make a ton of money.  Money is good and helpful, but right now, I think he needs to be somewhere that is going to be a happier place and nurture his hopes and skills vs. bank.  And when we prayed on it, that was my prayer was that he would find a job where he would be happier.  We are hopeful that we can sell our house to break even and then move on.  If so, then we should be fine.  That is our major concern right now is to try to get our home on the market and sold.  I want to price it well to make sure we can pay off the house total.  Right now, our loan is an 80/20 (never doing that again) and then the HVAC/water improvement loans.  Although, I'm not worried about the water.  I really want to take that with us.  And it's not a big loan.  I mostly want to make enough over what we owe (I think it's around 146k) to have a decent down payment on the next house.  I know we will have to pay a % to realtors and other random things.  And we know that the limit we would like to stay at in the next house is 200k.  10% of that, for our down payment, is 20k.  So, making 20k is a for sure need.  We would like to make some over that just because we've invested so much time and money.  But I don't want to be greedy.  Right now, my SIL says she has a friend looking for a house and all she could do is 175k.  I'm not sure we could make that work.  With fees and all of that, we would barely make a bit over 15k (if I've calculated fees right).  With the other we've calculated, it would barely be enough.  :(  The only way I can see closing the gap is to negotiate the realtor fees a bit lower and/or not helping with closing costs.  *sigh*  I wonder if on the house we like, we could go a bit higher and ask them to cover our closing costs?  I doubt they would.  UGH. Too much on my mind and too many numbers.  I guess we will have to discuss it, pray on it, and go from there.

This is long enough, so on to another post... 

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Quickie

Sorry I haven't updated... it's been a busy and hectic couple of weeks around here.  All good, though.  I'd rather be busy than doing nothing at all.  So, a few things:

* My period has gone on hiatus.  I don't deal with stress well.  Or my hormones are out of whack.  I know I'm not pregnant (I checked!), so either way, I have to deal with this at some point.

* We're headed out of town.  Who knows what this week will bring?

* My storage building is now full.  If we have to store more, we will either have to get another one or move to a 10x10.

* Woofy's eye surgery, is so far, a success.  No more cherry eye!

* My weight is the same.

* My diet/exercise is the same; aka non-existent.

* The house, on the other hand, is really moving along.  I haven't finished another whole room (the master was the last finished.  But it's so neat knowing that other than some trim for the hallway/master closet, second coat/touch up in the bathroom, and the kitchen, the whole upstairs is done.  LR, DR, Master, B2, B3 all done!  I will update when it is all official.

* I did, indeed, clean out the garage.  We now have a sell station, donation station, and storage station.  Plus stuff is moving from their random storage things into totes/bins that should be easier to deal with on moving day.  It's sooooo much better in there.  I do plan on making a few more changes, but nothing major.  I'm really happy with it currently and now have somewhere to work without having to wiggle through. 

That's all I can think of.  I forgot to post this the other day, so I guess I will post it as-is for now.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Huh.

As I was saying before, we're trying to make a little bit of progress at a time. I think today, since it is so nice out, I am going to get to work hauling stuff off.  We have been piling things in the garage with the crappy weather.  I have a pile of donations, items to sell, and even trash.  Our cans are full from where it didn't run for like, 2 weeks.  They ran this week, but not for recycling.  So, I'm thinking I'm going to go through and break that down more to cram it all in there.  I might even be able to find an empty extra can to use.  If not, it can wait.  Then there is the stuff that needs to go to storage.  There are suppose to be good temps so I'm thinking it's a good time to haul stuff and do some painting.  Maybe sanding can happen in the next few days.  Progress.

I guess I should be pleased.  And in many ways, I am.  I guess I just feel like we are floundering trying to decide what to do and where to go.  I thought we felt really strongly about PC, but nothing is falling into place.  I just feel like if it was suppose to happen, a job or something would happen.  But after 9mos, nothing has opened up.  Are we on the wrong path?  Should we change direction?  Are we doing something wrong???? 

At this point, I'm telling myself that we have to switch focus.  We've focused there -- looking for houses, looking for jobs, finding info on the area and schools.  I think now we need to focus on decluttering, finishing projects, and selling this house.  That's not to say we haven't been working -- we have.  But I am trying to get things done here to get the house on the market.  That is why we have been trying to get rooms done, packing, and all of that.  I'm wondering if THAT is why things haven't fallen into place.  We've not tied up enough things here.  We haven't 'shut the door' so to speak so that we could open a new one. I got a weird feeling just typing that.  Huh.  I never really thought of it that way.  I mean, I did, but I haven't typed it out.

I suddenly feel like I need to get to work.  :D

Failure to Launch

Have you ever seen that movie?  It's all about this guy with all of this potential, but he just hasn't... flown from the nest.  He's sat back and just continued to live/act like he's never grown up.  Never committed.  Never followed through.  And he's quite proud of it!

In a way, I feel like that right now.  I've failed to move.  I know what potential I have, but I haven't done it.  My point is my weight.  I've made very little progress on the diet front.  I'm not working out.  Both are things I am aware of, but I'm acting/living the complete opposite.  I'm not sure what is up with me.  Am I rebelling?  Lazy?  What?  I somehow managed to lose like, 45lbs. and keep it off (50 at one point).  But now I can't seem to find that drive to get lower.  I KNOW I would feel better and look better if I got in the 150's.  Heck, even the 160's!  But I'm not making progress and it's not a soul's fault but my own.  It's like I just can't be bothered right now.  I think every night, "I'll make better choices tomorrow."  Tomorrow comes and it's like I don't remember until the day is over.  W.T.F?

I am wondering if I am more depressed than I even realize.  To be honest, it feels that way when I am so frustrated with so many things and can't seem to find any motivation OR when I am doing so much.  Right now, it's a weird mixture of both.  One minute we are busting hump and knocking things out, the next we are stagnant.  I know this is how it goes and has been our mode for the last 8+yrs.  I am so sick of this rotating schedule.  SICK. OF. IT.  It has it's benefits for sure.  But at this point, I am severely over it.  It's like, we keep going in this circle and when we are going up the side, it's this slow, boring, upwards crawl to just get through.  I know that is life -- ups and downs.  I think we are just ready for a change.  Of course, then I worry that the change won't be worth it or won't work out.  I'm in a rut.  I feel... confined and restricted and have no clue what to do.  My frustration and fear is overwhelming.

Amidst the jumble of my emotions, I've been trying to hand it to God and just keep doing things.  One of the big projects we have knocked out is that we FINALLY got our master bedroom done.  Other than the doors to be painted (and their trim), it is DONE.  Ceilings, walls, trim, windows, etc.... ALL DONE.  I'm super happy!  Our week off was hectic with trips out of town and parties and all of that, but we still managed to get it done.  I plan on re-doing the ceiling in our closet and finishing that trim, and then some stuff in the bathroom, too.  I already painted the ceiling in the bathroom this time, too, where I re-did that area and put a coat of paint on the trim.  I want to touch up the blue and maybe one more coat on the white.  I want to try to do that and the closet next.  And work in the hallway.  First, I need to get the rest of the cabinetry stuff done.  I want to get that done because it takes sooooooo darn long.  I guess we will see how it goes.  Once the upstairs is done, I want to list the house.  We are going to list and put a note that the downstairs is being finished.  Then there will also be a restriction or contingency that we need to stay until the end of the school year. 

I guess this is all for this time.  More later.