Thursday, September 19, 2013

Not sure...

So, I'm going on 17 days on MFP.  Ironic that by accident, I joined on the 1st of the month.  That really wasn't planned!  It just sorta happened.  LOL

Anyways, I'm going on 17 days and I weighed in this morning and I was 183.  :/  I know that with our trip to the Smokies over the weekend that my food wasn't amazing, but I really only had one day where it was crazy high.  I tracked it all as best I could.  One day was slightly over, but the next I did a LOT of walking and was under.  The day we were coming home was high because we ate out twice.  Maybe I just need a few more days to get 'regulated'.  I'm not sure.  But I can tell you that I wasn't happy about the 183.  But then again, it's only Tuesday.  Maybe I'm worrying too soon.  I probably am.  I know if it was someone else, I would say hey, give yourself a few more days at least!  HA!  I'm so weird.

I guess I'm just worried that the calorie goal for me is too high.  1800 does seem like a lot.  But then again, my brain still has remnants of the old idea of weight loss and so this new way seems off in some ways.  Even if it's really what I've been doing for a while now.  Although, I was at 1600.  1800 is an extra 1400 per week.  And I'm just worried I'm not going to lose.  I'm not in a hurry, so not sure why I'm worried.  If it doesn't show results in the next couple of weeks, I just go down to 1700 then 1600.  I think my brain is just messing with me. 

**I started this blog a few days ago and just never seemed to get back to it to finish!  UGH.  Oh well, no foul no harm.

I got up this AM and did check my weight just to see where I was.  The scale flashed between 180.5 and 181.  So, I guess that means that the 183 was water weight.  Which sure makes me happy!  But I sure would also like to be back out of the 180's.  And I think that is where the anxiety comes from.  I don't need to drop a ton of weight, I just want to be back in the 170's!  LOL  I figured that out when I was asking myself why I was feeling frustrated so quickly.  Especially since from looking over my food and exercise reports at MFP I knew that I was doing darn well.  Most days on plan and if I was over, it was only a little which should be balanced out long term with the low days.  And after thinking it over, I don't know if I really want to change my cals right now.  Mostly because with Halloween then Thanksgiving and all of the school functions that happen over the Fall, I'm not sure I could do 1600 or less consistently!  Well, not true.  I probably could do darn well.  I always try.  But do I want to push it?  I just don't know.  I know I want to remain consistently in the 1600 to 1800 window and working out with the calisthenics, cardio, and lifting.  But short of that, I don't really have any real goals for this time.  I use to have a ton of goals and I do still have 'mini' goals, but that is about it.  No time line.  But I'm anxious to be back in the 170's!  It just seems like it is taking forever.  And then next week, I should get TOM and I'll see no loss again.  *sigh*  Maybe I should consider upping my goal from a half pound a week to a pound....

You know, figuring out this whole weight loss and regular life thing can suck at times.  Times like now where I question myself.  :/  I just need to get out of my head and probably not be on the forums so much.  Or heck, even talk 'diet' or 'exercise' with pretty much anyone.  Everyone has an opinion and even if they are valid, it doesn't mean it all works for everyone.  But instead of a discussion it can become an argument.  Big argument lately is TDEE.  Which is what I am trying to do.  I'm hoping I don't need a 'reset' or anything since I've been dieting for a while.  But I DID take a few months off and over that time, I only gained a couple of pounds.  So, unknowingly I could've been eating at maintenance.  So, I hope I sorta reset myself without trying!  HA!  Which makes me hopeful I'm on the right path now and I just need to give it a bit of time.  Yup.  Time.... *sigh*


  1. Jewlz.. girl you can do this!! <3 But I totally know how you feel I've been going back and forth between 169-170 in the last 3 years! At least you're seeing progress even if it's a slow one. I need to get back into shape -- you inspire me! Keep it up! :)

  2. You know, your post today really reminds me of this one time when I was studying for this one class. I was very unsure whether my studying method were affective or not and if I should wiped the slat clean and reset and try a completely new studying routine. I was scared because I wanted progressed and tired of scoring so low.

    So Jewlz, I think you already what your doing. This isn't the first day you began your journey. It started years ago. You made many many mistakes and your weight went up and down like crazy. You know what works, and you seen what didn't. So, keep up. You will get there.

  3. I think you have a lot more stability than most of the people on MFP. Everybody has good intentions, but there is a lot of different information out there about what is healthy and what is the "right way" to lose and maintain weight. You already lost a substantial amount of weight, so you don't need to listen to all that garbage. You know what works for you and what doesn't.
    I keep meaning to get back into MFP, but I am wavering about it. Part of me likes it, and part of me thinks that I need to be done with tracking and obsessing once and for all. I don't know if I can use MFP responsibly and not go nuts, because I tend to go nuts. That's just me though, and I still recommend that site to others, because a lot of other people have success with it.
    I think that I will at least go back to tracking my exercise with it. Even if I don't want to count calories, it's nice to see how much I am burning off each day!


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