I HATE MY BODY!!! GRRR!!!!

DAY 10 OF NO FRIGGIN' LOSS!  As a matter-of-fact, I am UP a WHOLE POUND!  THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!!!  I am trying really hard not to get too upset, but I feel like just sitting here and crying.  I just don't understand.  By all methods, I should be losing and not gaining!  And here I am at day friggin' 10!  I could understand if I was cheating or my cycle was coming, but that's not the case.  I've looked over and over my food.  I've been good on food, water, and decent on vitamins.  No, I've not worked out for most of that, but I was sick and could not breathe.  I've been better this past week, but had no way to work out.  URGH.  I just don't understand and it's making me despise my body at this point.

I'm sure the lack of sleep isn't helping.  My youngest is still getting up at least 2 times a night and then really early.  He did sleep in a bit this AM, but not enough to make a dent in my deficit.  I just feel like nothing is working and I am getting so frustrated.  I thought about saying screw it and eating whatever, but then I'd just feel WORSE.  So, I sit here eating a bowl of my LC yogurt with fresh berries and pecans.  I do think I am going to have to switch to plain yogurt, though.  In the beginning, I liked the sweetness of the LC Carbmaster yogurt, but now that my carbs are so low, it actually tastes TOO sweet.  I've tried the Greek yogurt before and didn't care for it, but I am thinking of trying it again or the ricotta.  I need something with a similar texture that is lower in carbs and more natural.  And if I need some sweetness, I can add a bit of Splenda or Sweetleaf.  No idea how much is in there now, so it could be more controlled.

Back to my point... I am just so frustrated.  I don't remember hitting a stall like this until I had been dieting for a while the last time.  And right now, I'm just not down enough to hit a real stall, IMO.  And I just don't know what else I can do that I have control over.  I would really like to work out, but with the hubbs schedule, it's crazy hard to fit it in.  I have thought of trying again to get on the treadmill while my youngest is sleeping and my oldest is playing, but so far every single time I've tried that, it hasn't worked.  Someone usually calls and wakes him up or the oldest does something and needs help.  So, I really need someone to be with them so I can just focus on what I am doing.  I can't do anything about sleep.  I go to bed and lay there and then when I finally drift off, he's UP.  And by the time I get him changed and fed and put back down, I'm awake.  Then it starts all over.  We have tried letting him cry it out and all of that but nothing and I do mean NOTHING has worked.  The hubby even tried giving the baby a big meal before bed to help with the hunger to no avail.  I am just so frustrated.  I know I keep saying that.  I am not, though.  I am ANGRY.  I honestly feel like I've been betrayed!

I don't really have anything else much to say.  I am on day 10 of not losing, sitting at 206.5 and I am angry.  That's the gist of it.  I am NOT going to give up, just going to keep pushing on.  But right now, I hate my body and whatever the hell it is doing.   I just feel like screaming, crying, and having a downright fit.  But I won't.  I am going to attempt to move forward and not let this drag me down.  Not sure how successful I will be, but I am sure going to try.