Food Fest

I had an all out food fest yesterday.  I was getting REALLY frustrated with my oldest and before the day could really get going, we'd had several screaming matches.  He is being difficult to say the least and is absolutely frying my brain.  In a fit of anger, I cursed.  *sigh*  I don't like to curse at him.  But like my friend said, it's not that I am cursing at him, it's that my brain cannot take anymore and I need a tiny release in some manner so the dirty words come out to keep me from exploding.  I'd say that is totally accurate.  I try not to curse, but man oh MAN was it hard yesterday.  I don't know what we're going to do about or with him.  It's just barely past 11 and we've already had an issue this AM.  He is the biggest drama llama in my life right now.  I love him, but he sure knows how to push all the WRONG buttons.  Anyways, the hubby thought I deserved a break... especially since he was going golfing with the boys today and then maybe out to lunch.  So, after thinking on it I agreed.  After the stressful morning and rushing to get out the door, I realized I hadn't had much to eat.  I stopped to eat... at DD.  *sigh*  Totally awful for me but tasted SO good and was EXACTLY what I had wanted!  I spent the whole afternoon out browsing the used book store, shopping, and then going to the movies... where I had nachos and a candy bar!  BAD BAD BAD.  But it was so FUN FUN FUN.  I refuse to beat myself up.  I enjoyed it too much!  Not just the food, but the time out.  It would've been nice to have a friend to hang out with, but I guess that was not to be.

Here's the thing -- I had a great circle of friends until we moved here.  I'm not sure what it is about this area that we just don't fit.  Even the hubby says he feels out of place here and he's had a hard time connecting with people.  Although he confesses it doesn't bother him as much since he doesn't need as many friends.  But he feels like we have NONE here.  No support and no family.  My family does come up once in a while (like they did over the weekend) but it's not the same as them living right down the road.  This lack of a support system has made things hard on us just because we are use to having one.  We're making it and figuring it out, but it would be nice to have the support at certain times.  Like when my husband got a flat and none of our 'friends' here could even give me a ride back from dropping the car off.  Or when my Dad was in the hospital and we needed someone to watch the kids so I could be at the hospital with my family.  Thankfully, the hubb's job is pretty flexible so he's been able to use his vacation and flex time.  It would just be nice to keep those for future use.  But without any kind of circle of support here, that's just not possible.  I miss real Girl's nights, BBQ's, and group trips.  :(  I know I should just get over it and learn to be content.  I AM trying, I just feel lonely at times.

Didi, we are doing a full remodel.  Not for the purpose or reselling or anything.  We just bought a fixer upper!  Our first house in VA was a small, boring place so we did quite a bit there.  All cosmetic really.  But we touched every inch putting in new flooring, painting, changing all of the landscaping, and basically taking a bland apartment style house and turning it into a warm and functional home.  Because we were military, we lived there only about 5yrs. before we had to sell and move.  We sold in 5 days.  SERIOUSLY.  It was FAST.  And we did a 'For Sale by Owner'.  We had a few offers, too.  Everyone said they LOVED the house -- just as it was.  As far as we know, the woman who ended up buying it didn't change anything but the 'guest room'.  It was our oldest's baby room.  It was sherbert orange!  So, not shocked someone would paint it!  LOL  We thought that since we had done so much there, that we would buy a fixer upper this go around and BOY has it been!  We've had lots of issues come up... some being structural.  But considering how the economy has gone, it was the right choice.  So far, we haven't really lost money.  Yeah, we could've bought newer and something that needed less work, but the thing is we knew that a large part of what we bought we would want to change such as paint and flooring.  It just made more sense for us to buy an older home and do those things than to spend all that money only to spend more to make those changes?  We're personalizing with the thought that we may sell someday, but for the most part, this house is for us.  And as of right now, we haven't really lost any money like a lot of people have.  If we do move in the future, it will be a while from now so hopefully the market will pick back up some.  But even if we were to sell right now, we'd be ok.  But we're just having fun and doing it right now to make us happy.  It sure has been a job, though!  Like I said, we'd have probably spent about the same on a 'newer' house, too.  Believe it or not, the most expensive stuff has been the cosmetic.  The structural hasn't been bad so far.  That's not to say that something won't come up, but the cosmetic stuff has been what will drive you bonkers.  Light fixtures and tub faucets are expensive!  LOL  Other than that, the most expensive has been our windows.  But I love them and we needed them.  That's one expense we wouldn't have had with a new place, but then again construction grade materials suck so who knows.  The first place was 'newer' and 3 of the windows had to be replaced.  Oh, and the sliding door.  So... yeah.  You just never know!

Well, I'm not sure what this week will bring.  I keep going back and forth on what to do with my diet and I'm sorta in a place where I don't even want to try.  I weighed yesterday at 204, but that didn't surprise me at all.  I had salty Mexican food the night before and a margarita.  I had been good all day until dinner.  So, I got up to 204 and then I had a big day out yesterday.  I dared not weigh this AM!  But I think I'm probably around 200 to 202 without the sodium bloat.  I've enjoyed being off of a diet for the last few days, but I am thinking I need to make some plans and stick to it.  I mean, it's mid-July and I've not made much progress.  I've considered going back to LC and doing higher protein, I've considered doing just calorie counting and then calorie counting with a focus on LC.  And I've also considered not doing anything.  lol  And just eat healthy.  But I don't think that just eating however I want will get me far.  I guess what I need to do is really sit down and think about where I want to be this time next year.  Honestly, I'd like to be in the low 150's and wearing a two piece to the pool!  But I'm no where near that.  I even found my first 'progress pic' last night and WOW.  I look horrid.  That should've gotten me motivated, but I just don't know what to do.

Like I said, I DID consider trying calorie counting again.  According to one of those online calculators, I need to eat around 2200 cals a day to maintain my current weight of 204.  I know one pound is suppose to equal 3500 cals.  So, to lose 1lb. a week, I need to eat 1700 cals a day.  If I did 1600 cals per day, that would put me negative over 600 cals a day plus any exercise.  So, I should, in theory, lose weight.  The only problem is, I've done calorie counting before and not made any progress.  But that was years ago.  So, should I try it again or just go back to low carb?  I don't know what to do, but I am at a crossroads and need to do something.  I'm not ready to throw in the towel.  But I just don't know where to go.  I keep getting stalled out and it's frustrating.  *sigh*  Any advice or help here would be great!

Ok, well, I am going to get off of here for now.  I think I am going to chill, read, and then chill and read some more.  I don't feel like doing much else.  LOL  I should probably work on laundry, but BLEH.  I don't wanna!  Have a great week chicks and talk to you soon!