Messing w/ ME

The damn scale is messing with me today.  Normally I'm not too obsessive over the numbers anymore.  I may make little tweaks here and there to the diet, but I don't really freak over the scale.  It's not worth it to freak out anymore normally.  But this AM, I did my normal routine and stepped on the scale.  It said 190.5.  WHAT?  I stepped off, shook my head, and stepped on again.  190.5.  WHAT????  I was so startled, I stood there and got on again and 192.  ASS.  I use to weigh 3 times and ALWAYS take the highest number.  But recently because I hadn't been getting ANY mixed numbers, I was only weighing twice and just putting that in the calendar for tracking and going on with it.  But I was so annoyed I walked into the kitchen, started coffee and got breakfast going for youngest, and went back in and weighed again.  It flashed 190.5 then 191.  I did this 3 times.  Same number all 3 times.  Damn you scale.  DAMN YOU!  I shouldn't let it bug me, but this AM it did.  I shouldn't have stepped on there the 3rd time the first time around.  I was just so shocked!  I don't know how on Earth I could've lost that amount.  That would be a 2lbs. from yesterday and 1lb from Sunday.  The 191 is more realistic and what I'm going to take.  Man.  Only 1.5lbs. from the 180's!  :O  I guess that the scale being an ASS is more bearable when thinking of it that way.

I'm also sorta surprised because I'm feeling a bit stressed.  We got the news that a close friend of the family's Grandmother passed away just a couple of days ago then last night a close friend of mine from high school posted that her Dad had died.  That's 2 in one week.  And then my Mom and I sorta had a disagreement over funerals.  It's silly and I just sorta deflected after that, but it sorta bugs me.  It's like in this day and age, people have forgotten to show any respect or support for each other during that time.  We're all quick to post things or send texts or whatever, but when it comes to actually seeing people and doing whatever, no one does it anymore.  Which in many ways makes me sad.  The issue with my Mom is I said something about driving down to go to the Wake and she darn near had a cow.  Said he wasn't family and it wasn't necessary.  I told her it wasn't for him, but for the family, the Mom and my friend.  She was like, 'Well, they didn't come to Granny's funeral.'.  No, no they didn't.  But truthfully, not many people knew or were even given time to come.  It was literally one of those things where she died and then was buried the next day.  She was 99, so yeah.  It was already planned so there was little to no span of time.  And even though in small to moderate towns word travels fast, it didn't travel THAT fast so only the closest of family members came.  And that wasn't many.  You see, the last of my family line is coming.  My Aunt never had children and then I only have one brother.  And of all of my Granny's family, many of them have passed and didn't have children or their children are much older.  So... the line is coming to an end.  There just weren't many people to come to the funeral.  But this was a younger man.  And I pretty well knew him my whole life.  I guess I no longer know what the proper etiquette is for death.  Does anyone else know?  I guess it's easy enough to say just go if you want to or don't if you don't.  But I feel torn.  UGH.

BTW, yesterday was a nice lazy day.  We sorta just sat around and took it easy all day and we really needed that.  Hubby and I talked about his diet and his progress.  I think he got a bit frustrated and I told him not to get mad with me... I wasn't trying to tell him what to do.  I was just trying to be supportive and help him think it through because he's lost doing it so he obviously knows what he's doing.  He calmed down and was like, I think you may be right.  Even though his carbs are fairly low and in theory his cals would be because of that too, he was eating so much fat to compensate for carbs that in reality his cals were much higher than what they should be.  He said after thinking on it that I was probably right.  I pointed out that he would eat eggs at breakfast cooked in oil or butter with cheese, then toast with butter and peanut butter, and then a banana.  That is a LOT of fat, cals, and a bit high on carbs.  Bananas are higher in carbs, but he gets ill without them.  BAD headaches if he skips a day.  It's weird.  Anyways, between butter, PB, and cheese... I think that is what was putting him over.  He added it all up yesterday and said he thought I was right -- he had to be eating almost 1000 cals. more than he needed.  So, he said he was going to count his cals over the next few days and focus on eating lower carb items.  Which is similar to what I do now.  I don't really 'watch' carbs anymore, but when I do eat them, especially when it comes to pasta or bread, I try to make them quality.  But bread and potatoes aren't a main staple of my diet.  I love pasta, though.  LOVE.  LOL  I eat most of my carbs at my afternoon snack and dessert.  Supposedly a fairly high carb dessert before bed helps you to sleep.  But there are times I just want some cheese and crackers or berries with whipped cream.  Just depends on my mood.

Well, I need to be bringing this to an end.  This is getting LONG.  Hope everyone is having a good start to the week now that Monday is over.  LOL  I'm not sure what today will bring, but I'm hoping to be a bit lazy again.  The rest of the week and into the weekend will probably be busy, so I'd rather have another down day as awful as that may sound.  Take care everyone!