Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Not feeling it.

I'm not feeling it today.  Today, I feel drained and a bit frustrated.  Drained because I am TIRED and I am still trying to get down my first cup of coffee.  I sure hope that once I get it down (and maybe another) I start to feel better.  I honestly think that the weather is making me feel yucky because anytime we have big storms roll through this area, it gives me a headache and makes me drowsy.  And yesterday afternoon should've been my warning... I had a headache and a bit yucky then.  But this AM, I got up and it's VERY overcast and my head is woozy and my stomach is unsettled and my nose is clogged... it's just a bad and uncomfortable feeling.  I don't like it and I wish it would go away.  Especially the uneasy stomach... which is probably from junk draining.  UGH.

I'm not frustrated at my weight, btw.  It was 190.5 and I am quite pleased with that! My cycle should be over today, so I'm not sure if I will see more loss or if I will kinda hang out where I am.  I guess we will see.  No, I'm frustrated because I was looking for more support online since the 3FC blogs have slowed down so much so I went to the forums.  Now let me put this out there first thing -- everyone loses and does things in their own way and that's great.  But it is SUPER frustrating to me when someone on there gives a nearly 300lb. person the advice to basically starve themselves!  There is NO need for that!  That worked for you?  Ok, that's great!  I'm glad that worked for YOU and you were able to lose a crap ton of weight and as of this moment, you've kept it off!  But for most stinkin' people, that isn't realistic.  But I felt like because I am not yet at my 'goal' that I was treated like a dumbass.  Because one lady wrote about being somewhere over 260lbs. and said she was trying to eat 1200 cals.  She said she quickly lost a bit but now has lost nothing.  To me, that is just too low and THAT is why her weight has stopped.  Her body has freaked out that her cals are just too low so it's holding on for dear life.

Now let me say, I'm aware I'm not at goal... I got fat and it got out of hand and when I started doing something about it, I got preggo.  I had a baby, I focused on him and then on moving and getting settled and then again realized, HEY!  I'm getting FAT!  So, once again I started watching my diet and lost about 40lbs.  Then I got preggo again!  Repeat having baby and focusing on him etc.  Then it was like, OK, in 10 more pounds, I'm going to be back where I was so I better get on it!  Which is where I am NOW.  And now, I am down 26lbs.  But because I'm not at goal I guess they feel like they can act like I shouldn't be giving advice and support.  I wasn't saying she shouldn't cut cals... just that going from eating somewhere near 3000 a day to get to that weight down to 1200 just isn't realistic for many people.  I didn't say all, I didn't say she HAD to do it, but I felt like because both of them had already posted and then HAD to post after I commented that it felt like they were saying oh well, WE did it and WE have maintained then EVERYONE should do it.  AARGH!  This Biggest Loser mentality is killing me.  I use to love that show but now I feel like it has done more harm than good!!!  People feel like they can cut their calories dramatically and work out for 6hrs. a day to get to where they want to be and I just refuse to live that way.  If that is what you want, fine.  Do it and be merry.  But for the vast majority of the world, slow, steady and balanced eating and exercising is what will work.  And that is essentially what I told her.  I told her that at her current weight and activity level she could probably just go to 2000 cals and not be so restrictive and lose.  Then once she's dropped a good amount of weight, she could drop her cals again.  But that she should also change the quality of the food she is eating to include more fruits and veggies and good fats and proteins.  But I was treated like I was stupid.  And I feel like it's because I'm not to goal.  AARGH AARGH AARGH!!!!!

I try not to get frustrated and irritated from stuff like this.  Mostly because, I have always felt like I was treated differently due to my weight as it was.  But on a support forum I feel like they should've been a little less obvious that they felt like what I was saying wasn't good.  But it was VERY obvious since they had ALREADY commented and then felt the need to comment again.  Maybe I'm being overly sensitive.  I'm not sure.  But it just rubbed me the wrong way.  Maybe it's because I've just come back to the boards after a long hiatus.  Maybe it's because this isn't just a 'diet' for me but a life journey and I want to make sure I do it right.  Maybe it's just that I'm cross as a bear today!  I'm not sure.  Either way, I'm not feeling in a jovial mood at the moment and I hope it let's up.  Just venting about it on here has made me feel a bit better.  LOL  I guess I just overall feel like some people focus SO MUCH on where they want to be that they miss part of the journey.  Then they get to the end and they don't know how to enjoy it because they didn't learn anything along the way.  Then there are those who get obsessed with it and while that may a great thing for them, I just don't see living that way.  So, when it seems like people are just pushing and pushing others to live as extreme as they do... well, I feel like it's going to backfire and the person will give up because they can't do it.  I guess that's what is picking at me.  They are encouraging someone who is quite heavy to be very restrictive and I am afraid she will give up.  Because I've done diets in the past where I was very restrictive and that's EXACTLY what I did.  I'm sick of restrictive and unrealistic diets and lifestyles.  Like I've said before, I know that works for some but there are many more where it doesn't.

Ok, now that I've gotten that off of my chest, I guess I need to get rolling off of here and get going with my day.  I have NO idea what I am doing today.  I probably should do the bills since I haven't done that in a while.  I meant to the other day, but I never got around to it.  But when I am in a foul mood, I don't really like to do it.  Since I'm feeling a bit better, I may be able to pull it off!  LOL


  1. I don't understand why some people turn the forums into a cat fight. We are there because we want help and need help, not to get thrown under a bus or belittled. I'd stay clear from people that act like that. Sorry you had a rough time of it, feel better soon and know that you are justified in your feelings.

  2. It's really hard to gauge what people mean over the internet. I sometimes read it as a jab when it was an innocent comment.

    You are doing incredible so don't feel defeated! We all have days where we just go "meh!" but work through it and get passed it. You are SO close to a new decade - way to go :)

  3. I hate to say this b/c I've been a part of some really good forums during my internet career, but that's why I now blog instead of frequent forums. I've found that more than a few subforums and threads are really cliques of older posters that don't take kindly to newbies interrupting their conversations. Other forums can be so adverserial and confrontational it's just not worth it. And others treat their diet program as the "one and only" true religion - I stay far away from those.

    What works for you is what's important. That and not giving up.



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