Wednesday, October 9, 2013


I feel like a fried pickle.  You know, fried but mushy and ready to fall flat.  *sigh*  Off day for sure.  No, not diet wise but emotionally.  Emotionally, I'm in a rough place and realize that I am SO in need of some down time.  When will I get it?  No idea.  Hubby made the decision to work tomorrow when I thought I was going to get some time to myself.  Then the told me that he made plans to go golfing on Friday -- again without telling me before confirming.  We HAVE to do stuff this weekend.  On Saturday, oldest has a music thing, cat has a vet appt., maybe the other two if we can squeeze it in.  Then, ONCE AGAIN, hubby agreed to go see his family on Sunday without telling me and I DO NOT WANT TO GO.  I'm NOT happy with the whole group up there right now and with being in a fragile state, I am afraid I will blow.  And when I do, I am in one of those moods that I would be perfectly fine cutting all ties with them.  They've just kept pushing and pushing.  I just feel like I've been cornered this week and I was looking forward to down time.  I was looking forward to time for myself.  The only time I'm getting is the time I get when I am at the Dr.'s office or late at night.  And the last several times, I've taken the kids with me and been given a bit of attitude the one time I had to wait in line.  :/  So... I am frustrated.  I had a headache ALL DAY today until around 4pm.  I lost my morning and my afternoon groove.  I feel like I lost the whole day.  And I hated it.  I did manage to get furniture moved, rug deodorized, window and door tracks cleaned, dishes done, and some other random things but I would've gotten more had I not had a splitting headache.  I know that part of it is sinus, but a large part is stress.  I really need some down time.  I really need some time for me.  I feel like screaming today.  As a matter-of-fact, I did scream at my oldest when he copped major mouth at me tonight.  His punishment?  Bed immediately after dinner.  Yup.  I was DONE.  I even spelled it out for him and told him if he gave me any more guff, he was getting a spanking!  I can't tell you the last time that kid got a spanking!  LOL  But he took the threat seriously.  He went to bed.  My youngest gave me some guff, but he finally quieted down and went to bed.  I should probably be in bed, but my brain is buzzing full of crap.  :/

So, let's talk about something that I feel like is moving forward.  I just did my averages over the last 8 days and my intake has dropped to an average of 1761.  That's total, not net.  My net is 1726.  So, I think I'm doing pretty darn good.  I DID step on the scale one day and like I said before saw 179.  But I haven't been back on there since.  And now I can't decide if or when I should weigh again.  Mostly because I have a fear of stepping on there and seeing that number go back into the 180's.  Which I think would give me a major meltdown right now.  So, I'm wondering what my options are.  Do I suck it up and continue to weigh or do I avoid it and keep on with diet and exercise?  It's a never ending vicious cycle.  LOL  I think I'm just in a bad frame of mind tonight to make a decision.  That's what I think!  So, I'll decide on that when I'm in a better place.  But overall, I feel like I'm doing great with my cals and working out.  I just want to keep a good average.  I'll then review at the end of each month and go from there.  Best way to deal with it, eh?  Look at the positives and learn from it all.

Man, I gotta stop watching this hoarding show.  I swear, it makes me want to purge my entire house.  HA!  So, I need to get off of here and turn it off.... after this episode!  ;)  Ok, maybe I'll go to bed and watch it in there.  lol

1 comment:

  1. You need a vacation. I bet it's the stress and the insomnia that are keeping your scale stuck. I've been having insomnia problems too, and that definitely effects the numbers on the damn scale. Why don't we live closer to each other so we can hang out? My mum is moving back to Tennessee soon, so maybe when I visit her we can actually meet in person. Crazy!!!


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