Well, tomorrow is the big day of doing the end of my 30 day or 4 week MFP 'test'. I really hope to have a good weigh-in, but either way I feel my new plan will be a better fit for me. I think it puts me closer to the 1600 I was successful at but without very much restriction. Today being a good example. I'm at 1100 cals and I'm full right now. I will eat again before bed (DESSERT!) so that should bump me up a good amount. lol But still, I think having a window of 1600 to 1800, not eating back the exercise cals, and then being more active will be the ticket. I'm just doing whatever I feel like for cardio. :)
Over all, I'm excited to tie this month up and see what is in store for the next. I'm really enjoying MFP and liking the charts, graphing, and the topics even if some of it is so dramatic and over the top. LOL I try not to get too involved. I try to just read over it, snicker, and move on. I've been trying to do that more and more -- just let things go and move on. My friends list on FB is getting smaller, but I feel like I am getting to that point in life where it's more important to just have the friends who are as much about me as I am about them. I am sick to death of trying and ending up being someone's fall back. To my detriment, they aren't there for me. I give them my all, but I don't even get a 'hey how's it going?' back. Not worth it anymore. Even if I have known these people for years, it's time to let them go and move on. If I feel that the relationship has become more of a drain than a positive, then it is time to move on. I am really trying to get my mind set in the best possible place for me. :)
It seems like I'm going through a lot of change lately between my diet and health, dealing with the scoliosis, and clearing out the family/friends in my life who aren't really family/friends but luggage. I'm finding new contentment with myself that I only hope to find in my social life. But I have to come first right now along with my immediate family. And a new aspect of my life that I rarely talk about for some reason. Not new to me, but I'm sure new to most people is that I find myself feeling ready to get back to a church life. I've always had my own relationship with God, but I am feeling a need for a church family. That may prove more difficult than all of the things I'm working on put together! LOL But change can be good even if sometimes it seems to be the end of others. Even if it feels a bit scary. It's really the only way we grow.
Speaking of growing... I've been growing my hair out for a long time and it is QUITE long. Like, half way down my back now! Seriously. It all started from a lack of being able to find a place to get a good cut. Then I decided let's just grow it out! And now... now it's super long! I really do like it but I sometimes wonder if it is the best look for me. Am I too boring? Should I change up the color? I had red hair for years (and many variations) but now it is one shade darker than my natural which is almost black. I'm wearing it with long layers, no bangs. Should I do some changes??? I sorta want blue/purple highlights. Just for a change. I like the solid dark look, but something fun for Fall would be nice. I'm feeling perky!
I guess I'm feeling perky because I went shopping today. I love what I bought, but dad-gum did I spend too much. :/ Yes, the vast majority of the items were for my kiddo, but I probably spent $100 on myself. I love them, but that is just too much. I am thinking of returning my items. I may even repurchase to get the discount because I feel like I got sorta ripped off. I'm thinking I may return the items and then only re-buy what I really really want now and wait on the other stuff. Does that make sense? That would be two pairs of jeans and a shawl/sweater thing. Those 3 things were $90. I'm thinking I return it then make into two purchases. That alone would save me another $20. I hate to do that, but I also hate to spend that much! $70 for those 3 things just seems more reasonable. Still a bit high, but more reasonable. Clothes are so high these days... guess that's why I don't shop as much anymore! Anyways... get this. Those jeans were size 12!!!!!!! I know I know... it's just a number and it isn't a big deal. Especially with vanity sizing and all that jazz. But I was stoked none the less! Mostly just because I tried them on not long ago and couldn't even get the suckers buttoned! But I got them on and could breath! I didn't even fight them. LOL They are still snug, but I am DARN happy. HAPPY! I know that in reality they are probably more of a 16 according to all of the stories you hear about clothing sizing, but the reality is that I have to make these sizes my reality right now and the fact that I am moving down is making me happy. I was also happy to see that not only did they have a size on the label, but also a number for the waist. I am actually going to measure my waist and see if there is any correlation. Nope. Not a lick. My waist measured 38''. Which is surprising to me since the last time I measured was in April and that was the same measurement. :/ Not sure what that means.... Well, just figured that out. Checked my weight in April... 182! HA! Guess I've really let the ball drop for the last... 5 months. But now that pisses me off that the pants in now way really correlate to a real size. Which means I'm not really a 12. UGH. I'm still happy I got into them and I got them because they look great on, but the fashion and clothing industry really needs to get a clue and standardize some crap.
Ok. I've rambled on and on enough. I really should go to bed and try to get some sleep. Tomorrow I really should try to be productive, but I just might sit around and read a good book! LOL