Saturday, December 27, 2014


So, it's that time of year when Christmas is over but the 'new year' has yet to begin.  It's usually the time I review the previous year and go over what I had wanted to accomplish and see where I am and think about how I want to continue those.  You see, I'm not a 'resolution' type of person.  It does nothing but set me up for failure.  I'm not sure why, but when I set something as a goal that isn't a set thing, it can drive me bonkers.  Like, I can set to pay off a bill and either get it or get really close.  But when it comes to health or weight loss, it's a no go.  It just puts a big ol' cramp in things and I seem to fail.  So now, instead of 'resolutions', I like to just build upon what I set out for in previous years.  More building blocks than resolutions.  Things to improve and change, but nothing set.  Does that make sense?  No resolutions to make a million dollars, lose a hundred pounds, or any of that. 

What were my things to build on?  The typical for me.  Pay down bills, spend more time with the kiddos, finish up little projects, work on my health.  We did all of that this year and more!  We paid off several things and paid down others.  I'm very close to paying off two more.  Once those are done, we are down to our hard debts -- debts that are somehow tied to the house.  One is our water system the other our HVAC.  I don't think the HVAC will get paid off before we move, but there is a good chance we will get the water system paid off.  So, I've felt really good about that.  To help with paying those down, we have been purging the house.  Eating out of our pantry instead of buying extra or going out to eat.  Selling things we will not take with us if/when we move.  Etc.  A lot of this has been done in the hopes of moving. 

We've definitely been signing off projects.  It's been good.  I've also worked more on artsy stuff and felt much relieved to feel like I have an outlet.  Of course, that's not been the case so much the last few weeks -- it's just too busy and too cold to work on anything.  I really hope that no matter where we go, that I eventually have an area to work that isn't freezing cold.  My area right now is in the garage and it is just too dang cold to work right now.  Just doing laundry, my fingers freeze to the point of pain.  Even with a space heater.  If we were staying here longer, I would insist on finishing it.  I hate the cold.  :/

Time with the kiddos has been pretty good, too.  I've worried less about mess and have just tried to go with it.  It's hard for my weirdo OCD brain at times, but it's been good.

On the health front, it's been a mixed year.  I've gotten more comfortable with who I am and what I want now.  Although, it's been rocky getting here.  After the falling out with my 'friend', I went through a rough mind rebellion thing.  I didn't want to eat well or work out.  I was angry and hurt and taking it out on my own body.  Why?  I have no clue.  I can only guess that because she was so over-the-top into her way of eating and working out, that my subconscious mind didn't want to do either at all.  Which is dumb and silly.  I never once said you shouldn't eat well or get enough exercise.  So why my brain decided that was the way to deal, I have no idea.  I said to do things in moderation.  That includes still eating well and being active.  DUH.  Darn emotions.  Anyways, I'm over it now and ready to move on from it.  I guess it was just something I had to go through.  Being sick didn't help.  I gained 5 or 6lbs. while sick.  I'm not really sure why other than there were only a hand full of things that I could eat.  Mostly carby and sugary stuff.  And that hasn't come off since then with the holidays.  I would say I was upset, but I'm just not.  I'm not having a party over weight gain, but I'm not beating myself up.  Although, it will mean that this is the first year that I am going to end the year being up some versus being down.  Or even being equal.  I haven't weighed in the morning -- mostly in the evening when I think of it.  LOL  But still, I know I'm up.  I'll probably do an 'official' weigh in on either the 2nd or the 5th.  Not sure which.  Or I may get curious and jump on there in the next couple of days.  Then I'll have an 'official' number, I guess.  I think I ended last year at 177.5.  I'll have to check.  Ok, looks like it ended at 179.5 to 177.5.  I don't think I will see either of those numbers.  I think I will be in the 180's.  My lowest, I believe, was 172 but I went up and stayed at 175 until I got sick.  Then up 5 or 6lbs. to sit at around 181.  So, we will see where I am when I weigh. 

All in all, not a bad year at all.  Not perfect, but not bad.  I have things I need to improve, but that is to be expected.  Like I said, I have no real goals other than to continue to improve on what I'm doing.  I want to pay off the rest of our debt, I want to finish up a few more things around this house and work on artsy outlets.  And I want to continue with the weight loss.  I had really hoped to be further this year, but I'll take progress over obsession.  I really hope that I can stay moderate and continue to improve in all the areas.  I don't want to overwhelm myself and drown in the details, like I am bad to do.  :)

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