I'm wondering if my earlier grumpy is now leading me to feeling... sad. Not sad as in the seasonal thing (I already had that!) but just... sad. Here's the truth: I feel like everyone I know is moving ahead in their lives while we sit. Am I making progress on little things here and there? Why yes, yes I am. But are we really moving? It sure doesn't feel like it. It feels like we've been stagnant for a while now. Months. In the grand scheme, I realize it isn't much. But it just seems to be dragging.
I'm trying not to mire in the details. Truly. I know these things take time. I'm just pouty. I have friends having babies, friends back in college, friends traveling and seeing the world, friends kicking it into high gear in their careers.... and I sit. It's like until this move, our lives are on hold. You know, you try not to focus on it and you try to enjoy each day because, no one wants to wallow. But I feel like I'm wallowing even when I'm trying to focus on all of the good going on. Like the projects and the other stuff. How can you make progress and still feel so stuck? I want to just appreciate where I am and NOT focus on the next step, but how do you do that when you feel like you've been on hold for a VERY long time?
I don't want you to think I'm not happy for those around me who are doing their thing. I'm actually VERY happy for them. I don't want anyone to be mired down like we are! And we know what the solution is -- "Just keep swimming!" I just wish that we were doing something besides waiting. Waiting and waiting and waiting. Or should that be treading?