Still not happy...

Still not happy and still feel frustrated.  I know I shouldn't be... I just don't get what is going on with my weight.  I don't have a reason, an excuse, or even an idea really.  And I know it could be worse... I know that.  I do.  I'm just frustrated from doing what I'm suppose to be doing and still having issues.  Maybe I'm not being strict enough?  But I wasn't being super strict before and was still losing... So what is the deal now?  If I was closer to my goal, I guess I could see it.  But since I am at LEAST 40 if not 50 pounds from where I need to be (which will still have me in the overweight category according to BMI) I don't know how staying between 1600 and 1700 cals could have me not losing.  Much less, gaining.  Just so strange!  According to my calorie counter thing, even being sedentary to maintain this weight I would need to consume over 2000.  That varies from site to site, but they are all around that amount.  So, at 1600 -1700 cals, I should be negative at least 300 per day.  At the end of the week, that's 2100.  You supposedly need 3500 to burn one pound.  Most weeks I am at 1600 or lower, not to mention I am not sedentary!  Maybe for the first part of the day, but after that I am up and going pretty good.  Unless I feel like crap.  LOL  Anyways, back to the point, I also KNOW that I didn't consume 7000 calories to be up 2 freakin' pounds.  I am just so MAD at my body right now!!!!  And yes, there have been a couple of meals I have gone over, but I mean by like 20 cals, not 100.  I think I AM going to watch and make sure I'm not going over ANY and see if that changes anything.

I really feel like something else is going on, though.  I can't put my finger on it, but it feels like something is just out of whack.  Like my hormones are jacked up.  Is this an epidemic?  Feels like it!  Seems like several of us are having some sort of issue.  I'm thankful that mine isn't too major, but more of a nuisance.  Maybe I'm stressing myself out so much I'm not seeing results... I wasn't really worrying about it before but now I am and look where I am?  I was purposely being lax so I didn't stress and now it seems to be at the forefront.  Maybe I really should take a break from the scale...  194.5 again this AM in case I didn't mention that.

The hubby is doing pretty good, though!  After stalling out at around 190.5 to 191, he finally dropped down to 188.5!  SO proud of him!  I know it's easier for guys to lose, but where he works the men aren't very good influences.  They bring in junk ALL the time and then make fun of his healthy food.  Then when they go on diets, they expect everyone to follow suit.  So far, my hubbs is the only one who is long term successful because when he feels his weight creep up, he really watches his food.  Not that he eats horribly anyways, but he watches it better when he feels it creep up.  I feel that's just how maintenance will be for me.  I will be able to eat 'normally' for the most part indulging now and then, but I will have to keep an eye on it and be even more careful if/when I feel my weight start to creep up.  Anyways, the guys there will gain a ton, diet and lose a lot, but the minute they are no longer 'dieting' they gain ALL of the weight back.  But my hubbs hasn't gained enough to have to worry about that.  He usually catches it at about 10 to 15lbs. so he only has that to lose.  According to BMI, he will be overweight even at his goal weight, but any thinner and he'd look terrible if you ask me.  It says he should weigh something like 133 to 163!  I say the high 170's is where he looks best.  This last time he gained and got up into the 190's I believe is the heaviest he's gotten.  But I don't know if it was 'true' weight because it came off REALLY fast.  His normal 'high' is around 190.  That's when he starts cutting back and gets back down in the 180's.  But he said this time he wants to lose a bit more and get into the 170's.  I told him to do what makes him happy!  I think that now we are getting older, he just wants to maintain at a lower weight than before.  Which is fine by me.  Isn't that the point of getting healthy is to learn to maintain and be healthier?

He says it's strange to him, too, that my weight has stalled right now.  He's here and sees what I eat and he knows I'm doing what I'm suppose to.  But it DOES seem like when he's on his 7 days off I don't do as well.  Neither does he, really.  But still.  Not enough to gain.  I think I've just gotten myself so stressed out and so outta whack that I'm just doing horrid.  Maybe I should not weigh for a week or so and see how it goes?  It's just hard because 1) It's part of my routine and 2) It's my motivation.  But right now it seems to be doing the opposite of motivating me.  It's just pissing me off.

Geez.  I've written a novel!  I need to get off of here and workout since I didn't yesterday.  Hubby got up early and well... I didn't want him watching me!  So, I need to get to it today.  Maybe I   won't weigh for the rest of this week or next.  Next would be a bust anyways since towards the end of the week, I should start my cycle.  UGH.  I would need to skip TWO weigh-ins then.  The 5th and the 12th and head to the 19th.  I don't know if I can go that long.... that's 16 days from today and 15 days of no weighing...  I haven't gone that long in I couldn't tell you when.  It would be a major challenge!  Maybe that's what I need is a major challenge....I will think about it and decide tonight and post in tomorrow's blog what my decision is.  InControl just might be right about taking a break...