I really do have some great online friends! Thanks to you guys for your comments and support. Sometimes you just need to vent and get that crap out, ya know? I'll come back to that in a minute. I want to comment to my comments, first. Otherwise, I'll forget! HA!
Grace, thank you so much for the comment on my pic/avatar! I LOVE that dress! But like you, I am not at a crossroads as to what to do with it. It's an XL and no longer fits. :/ It hangs like a sack and I am trying to decide do I spend the $20 or so bucks to alter it down, or do I just donate and hopefully find something else I love as much? I got it by pure luck. I was out shopping and just happened to come across it on final clearance. I couldn't believe it! It was marked so low, I had to check it twice! Turns out, it was marked down because the belt that came with it was falling apart. Yeah... no biggie! I trashed the cheap belt and used one of my leather belts with it and TA-DAH! Instant hot dress! But now that it is so loose, I can't decide what to do with it. I love it, but at the same time I don't know that I want to spend the extra $$$ since I got it so low. It is still in my closet in my decision area. Another thing I wanted to comment on is how funny I think it is that we BOTH feel this need to clean as we go! Everyone sorta picks on me for it, but I just can't enjoy myself or feel like I'm working in a timely manner if I am surrounded by a mess. And then I pretty much have it all done so that it only takes me a few minutes to clean up when all is said and done. I must admit, I didn't vacuum and mop, but it was mostly due to the fact that we still had company and then my kiddos got in bed. By the time everyone left, I decided to do the sweeping and mopping the next day. But that's where we differ -- I am up this AM and have yet to move off of this couch! I am worn out, sore, and well, feeling pretty darn lazy. I don't think you are ever lazy! LOL
All in all, I feel like yesterday went really well. In the end, I made the decision to have my Turkey Day Dinner and everyone who didn't like it could bite me. I mean, I get that my Mom didn't want to fool with it. Truth be told, she's a picky eater and she wanted to do pizza NOT to make it easier on me, but because she just wanted pizza. She is a MAJOR junk food junkie. I love her to bits, but it is a major factor in why she is so overweight. I'm the type of person to where even if something isn't my fave, I'll give it a go. She won't. And if she wants something, she eats it. It makes NO difference to her one way or the other. She's said it before and it's hard for me to believe, but she says she'd rather eat what she wants, be lazy as much as she wants, and be fat than not have what she wants. To some extent (considering how she grew up) I get that. But the other part of me doesn't understand how she can't want to be active, healthy, and able to do more things and spend more time with her family. Because honestly, it's like she chooses TV and food over all of us. And it's annoying. So in the end, I made the decision for myself and my family to do dinner and if she didn't want to eat it, she didn't have to. I talked it over with hubby and he said it wasn't that he didn't want me to do it, he just didn't want me to feel pressured to do it. Which made me SUPER happy. In the end, everyone ate and seemed really happy -- except for my oldest child who ate NOTHING. He said it tasted bad and he didn't want to eat. Which in translation means, it tasted different from what we normally do. You see, my Dad made the green beans and since they were my Old Granny's, they didn't taste like the fresh ones or the canned ones. They are a completely different bean that she grew and canned. The mashed potatoes were made from scratch and not instant, so he wouldn't eat those. So... he wouldn't eat a thing. I ended up making him some rice. We are about to come to a cross roads with the food and its probably not going to be a good time here. I'm tired of fighting over food. He's about to get the 'its there and you can eat it or go to bed hungry' treatment. I hate to do that, but I am sick to death of him being such a pain about food. For the most part, I feel like I'm very lenient towards it, but it's getting silly at this point. I guess we will see how it goes.
Things with the hubby are a bit better. I am trying really hard not to let everything pile up on me and get on my nerves. I am trying to think about what all HE does for us and remember that both of us pull a lot of weight around and do more than the other thinks or appreciates. I think our issue right now is just that we are both overworked and need a break. So, next Friday is going to be date night and we are both planning days out for ourselves. AND, I think we are going to try to plan a little family trip soon. What we'll do, I have no idea. But I think a little family trip would be fun. It seems to alleviate our stress and get us back on good ground. I did, like Didi said, let it build up. So, I am hoping by choosing to deal with it all in a positive way it will keep it from happening so much in the future. There are a couple of other issues, but I think it is normal over the course of marriage to have ups and downs. We got married at 20, so we've been together 13yrs. and married 12. In just another couple of months, it will be 14 and 13. Unreal! It is just the usual course of things to have issues and things we need to deal with. Some are big and some are small, but they are issues just the same. And I am trying to find positive and productive ways to deal with them. Although, I'm not a mind reader so sometimes I'm not sure how the hubby feels about things. We do probably talk a lot more than many couples, but I still don't always get what he is thinking or feeling. As a guy, he sometimes does things that I just don't get and those things are what make me feel like he is selfish or isn't being as appreciative of me as I need him to be. Especially after he comes home and talks about how awkward it is at work for him at times because many of the guys are so miserable in their marriages. Or at least at work, that is the front they put on. So when he does things or doesn't do things, it probably irks me more because I feel like he has prime examples of how shitty it COULD be! Crazy, I know!
But anyways, I think everything is somewhat back on track now. I am just trying to figure out how I want and what I want to accomplish over the next couple of weeks. We have gotten SO much done outside and my weight has moved down a bit, but not as fast as it could've if I had really focused on it. But I won't lie, it's hard to be good when you're doing so much hard and heavy labor. The good news is that for now, a vast majority of it is done. We need to finish one section on the carport roof (2 purlins and 4 pieces of Ondura) and then the fencing for the dog run. I also would like to finish the step to the back yard which is a matter of smoothing some dirt and placing the step. I want to try to wait and do that after it rains so the ground is softer. Then all that is left to 'build' is going to be the final step of the deck/dog run -- the gates. We're wanting to put in a double gate system so that when we want to put the dogs in the run, they're in the run. And when we want to get to the yard, we can get to the yard at the same time. BUT, we also want to be able to leave the gate to the run open and the gate to the yard closed so that during the winter, they can be let out and go do their business but NOT all over the yard like they do currently. It's a pain to keep cleaned up, kids are always stepping in it, and not to mention they are constantly chewing everything up! So, a neat little run that is small, easy to scoop, and has a bed and water will work the best. The neighbor got rid of their dog so we have their dogloo. So, the run will have a dogloo and a big water bowl and hopefully will be the perfect size to scoop every week instead of trying to do 1 acre. :)
So, my issue is deciding what needs to get done over the next couple of weeks before a few things happen. Mostly, before hubby goes back to school. Weight loss is important and I want to keep going, but I don't want it to take over my life right now. I want these projects and things knocked out while our stress level is fairly low. Because once hubby is back in school... life here will come partially to a halt. Meaning, no more extra activities and projects. I will be SO glad when he is done!!! So, we have about 4 to 5 more weeks to enjoy this time and then back into that nutty schedule. Which isn't bad... just different. I can diet and do whatever then. Not that I won't be now -- I'm just not being super strict because lots of hard labor makes it difficult. But so far I have managed ok. The last I checked my weight, I was still 184.5. I will check again in a day or two when I haven't been on my feet for hours and feel so sore and swollen! LOL Probably will check tomorrow. HA! If I'm up a bit, I'm ok with that. But I am hoping to keep moving down even with so much going on. I just want more of a plan. I'm not sure we can make one really with so much going on! I guess we need to decide what is a priority...
Ok, well, I have rambled on and on enough. I need to get off of here and... well, I don't know! I was thinking of making a turkey pot pie with these leftovers! I have beans, corn, and turkey left plus some dough. It wouldn't take much to make the pot pie. I just need to maybe add some carrots and celery... But I mostly want to use up these leftovers. I made a smaller meal this year and with 6 adults eating, thankfully there isn't a TON leftover! WOOT! Ok, so off I go. Have a good day, all!
didi -- talked to hubbs