Differences

I realized today that there are some majorly big differences in me and many of the other women out there who are working out, eating better, losing weight, etc.  I genuinely don't hate myself.  I mean it.  I don't.  There may be a few things here and there that could be better and I occasionally berate, but over all, I don't hate my body.  My body has been good to me.  God gave it to me to use and I have.  And so far, it's a good body and I hope it will continue to be so for many years.  If anything, I AM THE ONE who hasn't treated it the best.  So, I have no real complaints.

Where is this coming from you ask?  Well, I'm on a 'support' board on Facebook.  I joined because... well, the wife of a friend is running it and I like him and I like her so I thought, why not?  So, I joined thinking I would pop in once in a while, be all howdy doody and go on.  But I am feeling now that maybe this group is what has been eating at me and making me antsy and anxious.  Wanna know why?  All of these women hate their bodies.  Except maybe one.  I'm 178lbs.  Darn near a 12.  I think I'll be there in a few more pounds.  I am the largest or close to the largest in the group with all of the others being a 6 or 8.  And repeatedly, after I asked who was going to wear a 2 piece this Summer, each and every one of them said NO WAY!  I'm still too fat, too out of shape, or I need to work on my abs.  Uhh... I'm seriously thinking I'm going to rock a 2 piece.  Honestly, I have all of the styles, and I like them all for different things.  But why can't I wear the 2 piece???  I'm not huge, I'm not ugly... I don't see why it would be a REQUIREMENT to be super fit and toned to wear one.  Is THIS what society has come to?  Women should be ripped and muscled like men to be attractive?  They should also be thin, blonde, be nearly 6ft. tall, tan and have big boobs?  What's wrong with being a dark brunette, curvy, with creamy skin???  I won't lie... I've got pretty good boobs and a round booty.  But am I thin or skinny?  Uh.  NO.  I'm only 5'4'', but I have NO desire to be 'ripped'.  None.  Zip.  Nada.  ZILCH.  I would like to be toned, but not overly so.  I want more of a pin-up body -- not a teenage boy.  I swear, I see women all cut and they seriously look like Justin Bieber.  I don't want to look like a boy or a man!  I want to be a WOMAN!  And to be honest, I think most men look gross overly cut.  I like toned, but not..... veiny and scrawny.  Or even body builder.   YUCK.

Today's Food:

3 slices of toast -- 180
1tbsp. butter blend -- 50
25g. blackberry preserves -- 62.5
Coffee -- 0
Breakfast Total:  292.5


Progresso Chicken tortilla soup -- 220
116g avocado -- 194
water -- 0
Lunch Total:  414
Awesome lunch.  SO SATISFYING!  YUM YUM YUM!  AND, not a ton of sodium, lots of veggies, and all kinds of things.  Happy tummy!

1 pack of gummies -- 80
a few grapes (less than 10) -- 30
Snack Total:  110

95g pork chop -- 198
roasted asparagus -- 33
Julienne potatoes -- 150
Sangria -- 200
Dinner Total:  581
I haven't finished the wine, yet.  But I'm working on it!  Not exact on the cals on this, but I guessed.  Probably a bit more.  But, I wasn't really sure how to count it so... there ya go.

3 mini PB cups. --  132
Dessert Total:  132

Today's Total:  1529.5
I'll take it.  Life is good.