Thursday, July 4, 2013
Emotionally drained
So, I've been trying to think of a direction for this blog, my weight loss, and my life and the conclusion that I have come to is that I am just flat out emotionally drained. I feel so empty right now on so many fronts that I don't even know where to begin. Honestly, even a good cry isn't helping and I don't know where to go from here. I feel hurt, stunted, and just at a loss. *sigh* I feel like a damn teenager or something. And I hate it. I hate this feeling, I hate not having any drive to do anything when it comes to my health. And I hate feeling on edge. And apparently this isn't going to pass anytime soon because it's been over a month. WHAT is going ON? Is it me? Is it others? Is it my reaction to others? Am I being too hard or too sensitive? Or is this all in my head? GAH. I just don't fucking know. But I do know I feel fried and nothing seems to be getting me in line. So I don't know where to go because I honestly have no clue where I am right now. All I know for sure is I'm doing the best I can. But has my best been what is right? Drazil posted a very interesting post tonight and so did Thinfluenced and CurvyFitGirl. All were related, or at least in my head they were. In the end, they all came down to doing what was right for you. Change. Coming to point where it's ok to only give 100% to yourself and your immediate family. But is that me? Can I do that? Do I even want that? WHAT IN FUCKING HELL DO I WANT? I don't know anymore and I just feel emotionally broken. Maybe what I need is a break from all of it. I'm just not sure I can keep going like this or I'm going to snap. :/
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-Hug- :(
ReplyDeleteYou need a hug dear :( It seems like you are pretty conflicted.
You stated that you are emotionally drained, but it seems that you haven't really pinpoint the problem why.
Are you facing many problems at once and not know where to start.. and just feeling that it's crushing you day by day?
You mentioned that you are pretty unsure with the direction of the blog and your weightloss issue.
Hmm... Eventhough I am not exactly sure what is the problem. I think you might need to slow down a bit. When things get to tough, maybe you try to find sometime for yourself. To sit, and relax, and maybe reflect.
There were reason why you started this weightlost journey. It soon lead you to blogging. And through tracking your weight lost journey, it gives your blog a purpose.
But you are not the same person you are when you started this blog. And things changed?
So maybe you might want to spend a bit of time and unwind. Just to piece things together and relax a bit.
In my perspective, a direction usually start with a goal. Find your goal. And you'll find your direction :)
..ooh, one more thing. I almost forgot.
ReplyDeleteYour title. Take a look at it.
It say "Searching ..for Jewlz"
Maybe you already have a direction.^^
I can hear the frustration in your words...and I get it. I've been there. Thinking of just me and my family doesn't come naturally and it's not something I'd choose in a perfect world. I'd prefer deeper connections and more intense feelings BUT the world isn't perfect and the realization is that if I don't want to be hurt or disappointed every single moment - I have to focus on keeping real intense true feelings with myself and my family. Sucks - yes. But true - for me. For right now anyway.
ReplyDeleteGirl I know this is like a week late of a response but I hope from then to now that things are a bit better for you? And you're right on the money on it really is dependent on what works for you. The whole world of weightloss is purely subjected although we all have the same themes our journeys are not necessarily the same. A great thing that worked for me is instead of concentrating on all aspect of "weightloss" focus on one part at a time ie. work on nutrition first then exercise something like that. I hope you find your inspiration and usually it's where you least expect so try something different and unfamiliar each day :) it worked for me *hugs*
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