Last night I was really too fried to talk and gab and explain why I was feeling so... off. Here's the thing, we've been scammed. My husband bought me a phone and when we realized I wouldn't be able to use it or to switch, we decided to upgrade it a bit and sell it. When he posted the listing, he posted the ESN# so that people could call the carrier and confirm that it was clear. Well, that apparently was a bad idea because the ESN was 'cloned' and now the phone is defunct. The bad part? We had already sold the phone to a nice lady through eBay. She didn't notify us until this Weds. evening which means we didn't get the email until yesterday. Anyways, after doing some research online and then calling Sprint directly, we've somewhat got the answers to the issues and what to do, but we are sort of wondering how to do the right thing without stabbing ourselves in the foot. Because the lady who bought it and is having the issues says she just wants to return now because after fighting with it for the last 2 weeks she just went and got another phone. Without giving us the proper chance to fix it. :/ But the truth is, I feel like that isn't our fault. If she needed the phone fixed and couldn't get it on last week or even the last few days, why would you contact someone in the late afternoon and then say the following day (less than 24hrs.) that you just want to return the phone? Frankly, that's not our problem. All we are responsible for is sending the phone in good shape (as advertised) and in working order (which it should be after today). But I also want to do the right thing. AARGH. I hate scammers. WHY do they do what they do? This is what I hate about life. I can deal with the normal ups and downs, but I hate the people who do the things to flat out STEAL and TAKE from others. I just want to SHANK THEM. I know that's not nice, and I would never do it, but man alive does it drive me crazy!!!!!
So, there's that and then of course you know I'm on the line about my diet and exercise. I started tracking yesterday so that was good. But got up today and my freakin' knee is hurting again!!! Doesn't matter -- going to just go along and do what I need to do. I can tell this is a different pain and probably just from being out so much yesterday. And I am going to try to do the weights later and see how it feels. Obviously, if it hurts, I will need to not do it and I am just going to have to rely on walking/riding and watching cals. But I hope that it's ok. I want to do this and make progress. Even though I haven't really gained any true weight, my clothes feel tight. Which I don't understand. It's not like I was working out hard core before and the clothes fit then. I was losing weight before with very little exercise other than staying busy and bike/walking occasionally. So it's not like I was working out and got more toned and then now I'm losing that and they are getting tight. I don't get it. It's weird. Or maybe it is in my head. But they just feel so much more snug; to the point to where they visually look like they don't lay right. All of that makes me feel like I need to get on the road to progress again. Originally at this point, I really thought that I would be 8 weeks in and almost done with my first 'bulk' cycle. I kinda hate that word. But I'm not sure what else to call it. Wish they could call it builder or some other word. 'Bulk' is more for true body builders and not the rest of us folks. Bulk makes it sound like I'm going crazy and eating in huge excess to build massive muscle. But I'm not. I'm eating at around my maintenance level. So no big deal. Unless you look at yesterday's food which was awful. HA! I rarely eat like that. But you know, gotta get on the horse and I said I was going to start yesterday so I did. I believe hubby is getting into a better groove, too. He said he was feeling a bit chubby, too.
You know what my issue is? I'm doubting myself and the process again. THAT is what I'm doing. I had a plan, it got mucked up. Instead of just standing up, dusting myself off and moving on, I'm wallowing and doubting. I need to just shut up and do it. I don't remember the plan 100% but I know I said I was going to eat at maintenance or a bit over. So, I will tweak that a bit since weights hasn't been able to be 100%. So, we'll put cals at 1800. My maintenance is somewhere around 2000, so that puts me at a deficit, but a small one. I'll do the weights alone and then with hubby when I can. Cardio will be a want thing and not priority, but I still want to do it some. There. Plan made. Just gotta do it. I think the 1800 will be the easiest. I did 1800 for a while there and kinda held still or lost very little. I know that's because it's such a small deficit that any miscalculation on my part in food or whatever will be misleading. But that is ok. We'll leave it at 1800 for now and then I'll drop back down to 1600 in a few weeks or so. So yeah, plan made. I actually feel better writing it down. HA. Hopefully this will give me balance.
Other than that, I just need to get going. It's a nice day here and I need to take advantage of that while I can. :)