Friday, March 7, 2014

Not sure why

I'm not sure why I'm writing again tonight.  Maybe it's the result of not blogging for so long that I am overcompensating now?  LOL  No idea.  But I'm going to go with it.  It feels good to be writing again and talking about my day and what I am doing. 

Food wise today, I'm not sure of where I am with my calories.  I just checked quickly, and I'm guessing I'm right around 1600.  1500 is what the ticker says, but I didn't have the info for the stuffing so I've got to look that up.  But I am thinking that is pretty good!  I'm pretty happy with the numbers so far.  Except for breakfast.  It's just a LOT of cals for breakfast and I'm not sure how to get the count lower without it being too small to satisfy.  That's my only real beef when it comes to granola.  The stuff is yummy, but SO full of cals.  Even the all natural stuff.  I think I have 4 bags of the stuff, but they are small so not a big deal.  I really think it works better as a topping than as a cereal simply due to the insane cals.  1.5c is 520cals. I'm thinking I'm going to go down to the 3/4c serving suggestion for the granola, up the blueberries from 75g to 100g and take the almond milk to 1/2c instead of 3/4c.  Then add 2 or 3 slices of bacon.  That right there would be 467.  A drop of 171 cals at least.  201 if I only use 2 slices of the bacon.  I think that may work.  Under normal circumstances I may just save the granola just for yogurt; but we are trying to eat out of the pantry.  It and the freezer are SO full.  So this is really the only cereal that I have and I'm on a cereal kick right now.  But I may have to change that and go to something else.  Maybe what I can do is eat a few bowls of it and then use the rest for topping... that actually sounds like a plan.  Or maybe I can fatten it out... Hmmm... maybe use my yogurt and then the granola as topping.  Then use a big serving of blueberries and have a side of something else -- toast or bacon or a bit of each.  Yup.  That would bring me to 470!  And that is quite a bit of food, too!  Not to mention a whopping 28g of protein for one meal and only 3 extra cals!  That is literally double the protein from today!  Guess what I'm having for breakfast!  LOL

Boy did I ramble and get off track!  My point is, I'm getting back to doing what I need to do which is thinking more critically of my choices.  Not only to be better cal wise, but to also get in good amount of protein and be filling.  I don't think I've made horrid choices or I would have gained a ton of weight.  But I haven't.  Yeah, I just checked and at the end of the day, 180.5.  So, probably a smidge lower than that in the AM.  hee hee  I just want to get back to paying more attention and I feel I'm on the right track.  Although, I guess I never get 'off' track.  I just take detours now and then.  But who doesn't love a fun road trip???  Life should have some fun!  And you all know how I feel about slow and steady and progress not perfection.  :)  Life is too short to stress so much.  I stress enough as is!  So I just gotta do what works and think things through without going bonkers.  Do what works but not let it work me.  Cause ya know... I do stress.  I try not to, though. 

An example is I would REALLY love to be in the 160's by Summer.  Preferably under 165.  Completely doable.  But... I don't want to stress over it because when I do, I focus TOO much and end up blowing it and messing it all up.  I just want to keep going.  Of course I'd like to be even thinner this Summer than I was last, but the reality is I may not be.  And so what?  I mean, really.... SO WHAT?  No one, and I mean NO ONE will care about it but me.  More than likely, no one will even notice.  Truthfully, very few people ever say anything even when it's OBVIOUS that I look different.  No one cares about it like I do.  It's only important to me.  So how I get there needs to feel GOOD.  It needs to feel like this was an enjoyable and wanted part of life because otherwise... I'm going to get fat again.  That's how I deal with negative.  I don't want getting healthier, losing weight, and changing my lifestyle to be a negative.  I realize that doesn't work for everyone but they can do them and I'll do me.  It's worked for the previous 50lbs so I am looking forward to it being the same for the next 25 to 35.  I want to do this one time.  Even if my one time is much longer than someone who say buckles down and gets it all done.  I'm cool with it.  I'm cool with living and being happy and having some 'wiggle room' in my day to day life.  It makes me happy.  And it hurts nor helps anyone else.  I somewhat hope it helps... I hope people are paying attention and seeing that little by little, I'm better and healthier.  That instead of zooming to the end just to have to start the race over again, that I'm being the turtle and trudging along.  BETTER year by year instead of falling back into old habits and getting fatter again.  I want them to see that you can change at your own pace, in your own way, and experience long term SUCCESS.  Because even if I am not at goal yet, I consider myself a success because at the end of every year, I can see progress. 

Now that I have successfully rambled on and on, I guess I'm going to bring this to an end and watch some TV.  Namely, House Hunters or My First Place.  I love getting home ideas for this house and a possible future home.  I also have some magazines I'd like to flip through.  Several that my Mom brought.  I've enjoyed going through them and pulling out ideas.  I like to do that instead of keeping the whole magazine.  I wasn't sure I would like doing that because I am a smidge (HA) OCD.  I thought it would bug me.  But getting neat ideas all in order has been fun.  I'm not sure what to do about articles, but the visual stuff has been fun.  I can get a lot online, but this is sorta fun, too.  However, thankful that my Mom is going to stop getting mags.  I am super overwhelmed with the mags right now and have to get caught up.  Most of them are online, on my Kindle and visuals on Pinterest so they just aren't as high demand.  But it's sorta neat to get some of the ideas in different ways.  Sometimes I see something on TV and I can't find it any other way.  Its just a nice extra option.  But I think it's about time we cut back and cleared these out to recycling.  Again, I rambled!  Off I go!

1 comment:

  1. I finally had to stop tracking my calories with MyFitnessPal. It makes me shit city insane, and there's no getting around it. I was still tracking my workouts for a while, but I think I might nix that too. I just get too damn crazy. I wish I could track, and not lose my damn mind about it, but that isn't my reality. I also put the scale in the outer hallway, because I think I'm going to throw it away. For good. I know what my healthy weight is, because I was there for years. I know what it looks like, and what it feels like.
    I'm going to the gym regularly, doing raw smoothies, upping my veggie intake, and getting acupuncture. I'm on track. I feel great. I don't lose what MyFitnessPal says that I should lose though, and it makes me feel really shitty. It'll be in a good mood, and suddenly want to curl up in a ball and sob. The more I obsess, the more freak outs I have when I want to throw in the towel and eat twelve cheese burgers. It's not worth it. Such a bummer though, because with all the fancy phone apps it should all be so easy!!

    Anyway, now I am rambling. I think the way you handle your fitness makes more sense than the way most women try to handle weight loss. People lose it and gain it, over and over the same twenty pounds. It's nuts. I lose, but it is agonizingly slow, so it's best not to even pay attention.


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