Trying

Yesterday was an ok day.  I didn't get very much done, but at least it was more mellow.  Today, so far, is ok, too.  I'll take it.  But it is early.  I need to get dressed and go run an errand or two.  But overall, not a lot planned.  I do need to do some major straightening up before the weekend.  I want to try to do that later, but we know how the best of intentions go.  Yes, I'm still feeling a bit... off.  And things are irritating me left and right.  I really need a vacation.

What is irritating me now?  Family.  Discovered that yet another 'family' member has me blocked on FB.  I have no clue why.  But I am sick to death of people's backstabbing politician behavior.  You either like me or you don't.  Don't act all friendly and smiley just to go behind my back and ignore me.  You cannot have it both ways.  I keep telling myself to handle this in a mature way, but the other part of me is like FUCK YOU!  I want to say to them when I see them, "Well, if you can ignore and block me on FB, I can ignore you in real life."  Just cause I WANNA.  People act like they can do whatever they want online because there are no consequences.  Well, there are.  And one day, you may just piss off a woman who has not only had enough in general but is in particular disgust with YOU.

I keep hoping that venting will get me to a place of peace.  Usually, I can vent, think things through.... you know, process them and move through them.... to reach a place of  calm and peace.  But this week it feels like it is building up.  I told the hubby last night that I needed a break.  We needed to get out of this town for a bit and do something together that was fun.  We are now considering it.  I spent the other day going over the budget and we're making progress.  Not as much as I would like, but progress.  So that is my only concern with taking a mini-vacay right now.  Before the thought of moving, I want to get at least this one card paid off and then on loan.  I would like to pay off, two, but not sure if there will be time.  I just feel like focusing on getting them paid will give us more cash in the future.  Like, if our house doesn't sell for what we feel it is worth.  If we have no other debt, then it would be fine.  But if we had other debt to also pay off, that would hurt our down payment on a new home.  And we would like at least 30k for our down payment.  More, of course, is always better, but that is the minimum we hope for.  We would like to pay off a lot of this debt now, sell and make 40k, and then have 30k for the down payment with 10k to live on for a bit/moving expenses/etc.  We just won't know until we get there, though.  And honestly, we have no idea what the next year will be like.  I'm trying to not look too far ahead.  I want to prepare a bit and plan, but I don't want to get my heart set too much, ya know?  God has a plan and we'll get wherever we're meant to go.  Back to my point, the budget looks pretty ok for now so I think we could afford a little trip.  As long as we didn't go batshit crazy on spending.

Well, I'm going to get off of here.  I want to run to the craft place and look for a jewelry kit -- I have a few broken pieces I need to repair.  Then to chiro and then back home.  And goodness knows that this work isn't going to do itself.  LOL  I may also go look at a few plants.  I am not sure that several of our plants made it through the winter.  It was VERY cold, windy, and wet this year and I am afraid many of our 'established' plants didn't make the cut.  And all of our newer ones were just lost.  Sucks.  But I am not willing at this point to do much more.  If they are lost, I am done.  I will be just taking out the dead, filling the holes, and covering over with mulch/needles.