Monday, September 15, 2014


I know I've been quiet lately.  Not because I have nothing to say, I've just not had much time!  I really, really haven't.

On the clean-up front for my online life, I've done really well.  I've cleaned down to about 175 on my friend's list.  I may do a few more but I am content right now.  So far, no messages of 'why have you deleted me'?  I don't think I'll get any -- I don't think those people will miss me at all.  I think the feeling will be mutual.  I realize that these are people that aren't on much and people that I never spoke with, so no one's feelings should be hurt.  So why did I hold on so long?  Part laziness.  Truly.  I just added them for one reason or another and just didn't think it mattered to have them there so I just left it.  Now I realize that I want my circle of friends much smaller.  Or should I say my circle of information to be smaller?  I want people to be genuine.  I realize we are all busy and not all of us are wrapped up in our online lives.  And trust me, I'm working towards that more and more between cleaning up the FB and email life (I've already done it with my blogs but will probably do a big clean again soon).  But when I post things or feel things or just need to vent, I want those people to be real people that I know and that I trust with my feelings and information.  I feel like I am getting there slowly but surely.

However, with that said, a part of me is sad.  Sad because I feel like I'm not as open and honest with people as I once was.  I feel like I can't have an opinion on anything anymore and well, what's the point of 'friends' if you are so worried about saying something that they will dump you over that you never speak?  I feel like if I have any kind of opposing or differing opinion, it will start a fight no matter what I say or how I phrase it.  So instead, I say nothing at all.  I almost feel like a stranger to myself because I just.... I just say nothing.  I feel like I've lost some sort of battle and now, now I'm a prisoner of my own thoughts.  I have no way to talk, express, or say anything.  Other than to maybe one or two friends I talk to on the phone and my poor husband.  I worry I talk him to death.  So, even to those people I try not to talk as much.  I guess the only place I talk much anymore is here.  And as you've noticed, I've not been on here much either.  At least I've been busy and that part is very true.

We've gotten a lot done.  A WHOLE lot.  You probably wouldn't be able to see it if you walked into the place, but a massive chunk of work has been done.  As I mentioned before, a bunch of stuff was cleaned out from under the stairs.  I've gone through most of that and either put it in the donate box, thrown it away, or packed it back up in a smaller, better box.  I still have 2 boxes to consolidate and one box to purge.  One flat box is going to be unpacked fully and then moved into the office because a bunch of that stuff is going to be purged and what we keep, I'm going to pack up with the stuff that I will want to actually use/display once we are moved.  I don't know how that stuff ended up under the stairs, but most of it is stuff that I like!  It must have been one of those times where I thought I would move it there for a bit and a bit has turned into a long time.  UGH.  Oh well, I'll get to it soon enough.

Then we tackled the garage.  Our poor.  POOR garbage cans!  Both were FULL.  Both are full again!  But not much we can do.  Gotta move this stuff on out!  I have MORE to take off before long.  Its a LOT of stuff.  I just keep adding to the donate pile.  I keep cramming stuff into the recycle bin and the trash bin.  But you can actually MOVE in the garage now and find what you are looking for.  It's a massive change.  On top of that, I finished organizing the pantry with my new baskets and found a great shelf liner for the cabinets by Contact called Zip-It.  People complained of it not ripping right, but it rips fine if you follow the directions and use something straight and flat to lay along the line you want to pull from.  I had NO issues and it looks fantastic!  The pantry looks great, too!  I also finished the drawers and got them back in.  I need to put in their liner and put the items back.  Next is to finish the doors and put in new hardware.  OH!  I also refinished one of the counter-tops.  I gave it a light sanding and 3 or 4 coats of poly.  Looks so nice!  I will do the other one soon.  We also got the backsplash in!  No grout, but it's in!  We got the tile on the fireplace downstairs today.  Then we tied up several other odds and ends projects.  It's been a VERY busy nearly 2 weeks with only maybe 1 or 2 down days.  You'd think we would have more done, but we are working around 8 hours a day and well, it's a lot.  Not to mention, things just take time.  It takes time to sort, haul, sand, clean, and watch paint dry.  That on top of the normal things like cleaning, meal making, school, etc.  I feel we've done darn well. 

So now, now I am working on a Main To Do List.  We are getting closer and closer to a goal and I need it to remind me of what needs to be done.  I guess we will see....  At least the outside is mostly done.  We have a few odds and ends in the yard, but the house paint is done.  I know we need to clean and seal the deck, seal the carport, and finish our little patio and our little retaining wall.  Hubby and the kiddos refurbed the playhouse/swing and it looks so good!  Not much else to do there.  Maybe buy a new swing seat since one broke.  Slowly but surely.

I haven't given up on my weight but after 2 entire weeks of no loss after being on or under my cals, I got really frustrated and decided to take a little break from MFP.  I've been watching my meals but I know I've been over.  But I've also been much busier, more active, and hungrier than normal.  We've only eaten out 2 times if you can believe it!  Even then, I chose not to go nuts.  I checked my weight last night and it was 177 after eating so I'm about the same.  I know I'm not going to meet my goal at this point and that is ok.  I'm just going to keep going and not stress.  I am, however, going to work harder at getting in my planned exercise.  I think I'll be bored after 2 weeks of non-stop activity if I don't!  LOL

That is about it, folks.  It's just another couple of days until we get back to the daily grind and maybe then I'll get back into some sort of schedule.  But for now... I guess I'm going to go and just do what I can. 


  1. I think you bring up a very interesting point. :)
    I can relate with you in the fact that I am also worried when I talk to some of my close friend.
    I sure don't know what the right thing to do is, but I am a true believer of speaking your mind. So, Jewlz, I think you should also speak your mind to your friend, and speak till your heart content. If they are real, they'll put up with your nonsense and craziness :) and if they leave, your better off without them anyway.

    And if everything else fail, you can always write it on your blog :) It help you expresses your feeling too. Goodnight!

  2. I don't think you should stay silent, and never voice any opinions. Keep being yourself. You just haven't been spending time around the right sort of people for you. I think if you're looking for good connections- at some point you will find them. It's often difficult to make friends when we're in a transitional spot like you are (or like I was before the move). We end up spending time with people that we don't quite click with. It's just passing time. When it ends don't take it personally. No sense in being so terribly hurt when people pass out of our lives. Some people NEED to go! And the online people shouldn't replace real life connections, because it's even easier to be misunderstood over the internet.


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