Monday, October 27, 2014


I've not felt like blogging lately.  I feel like I've been so bogged down with ALL THE THINGS that I've just not had the energy to put it out there.  I don't even feel like anyone is reading anyways so what is the point?  Maybe just to relieve my stress by getting it out of my head?  No.  I've been talking and venting non-stop to try to deal.  But still, I feel clogged.  Even this little bit I'm trying to get out feels like trying to pull teeth out of a rhino's ass.

I really guess the bottom line is that I feel a ton of pressure and I'm under too much stress with no release.  I'm thinking I need to get back to working out... although, I've been doing enough outside work that I should have burned out ALL THE THINGS.  Today, I moved dirt and dug a small trench.  Tomorrow, I hope to go ahead and get down the sand and then the block.  I don't think I will get it all done as the bags of sand are like 30lbs. and each block more than 25lbs.  After squatting all of that several times to move, pour, and arrange, I'm sure I'll have had a good workout!  I may also start on the back house run.  I back filled that today with dirt, so all I need to do is put down the weed barrier and then put the big rocks.  I'll just have to see how I do.  I want to work a little bit out there each day.  I want to stay on task in the house, and make some decisions.

One of the decisions that I need to make is how to come up with the money for tuition.  It's the end of Oct., so we would need 7mos. worth to get through May.  That's $1680 to $2100 for the cheapest preschool that I know of currently.  Not to mention the year has already started so my options to get him in somewhere are going to be limited.  But he is begging to go and his brother started before he did.  And if we aren't moving anytime soon, he might as well go.  I'm just not sure where I am going to carve it out of the budget.  My focus has been to pay off bills and to get money put back for a few things like new tires, insurance, and our move.  Not to mention to bolster up our emergency fund.  But with this, I'm not sure how we will do it.  I can't cut anything else.  There's nothing to cut.  I guess I could try to work part time, but the market is so full of people, my chances would be slim to none.  I'm just not sure what to do.  We were so close to paying off this one debt... UGH.  Ironically, it's almost exactly the amount that the tuition is.  :/  But it WAS much higher.  It was the first remodel loan we took out on the house for the major reno that we couldn't pay cash for because the amount was just too high.  And we were within reach now.  UGH. 

My head is just so full of so much.  I'm not sure where to go at this point.  I do know one thing.... I need to go fold up some laundry.  I have two loads in my room, a load downstairs, and one about to go in the dryer.  So, I need to get to it so it doesn't get piled up.  That is, if this kiddo will ever go to sleep.  That's another thing -- I am thinking that being busier during the day will help him sleep better at night.  But I could be wrong!  LOL

1 comment:

  1. I always read! :)
    I know how you feel though. Sometimes there's just too much going on, and blogging seems like an immense effort. If it is something we are doing to relax, and help us process, I suppose we shouldn't be posting when we aren't up for it.
    Ug. Wish we were closer so we could hang out.


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