*RANT* continuation *RANT*

Here is the continuation of the previous blog -- but I warn you, it's a RANT!

Anyways, after all of that, THEN another person on my feed posts about how she's been having health issues and her doctor is NO help.  Let me say up front, that I'm not saying that doctors are perfect or that they don't make mistakes.  With that said, she was complaining of a sunburn feeling and tingling.  And then went on to say instead of taking her doc's advice, anyone else's advice or getting a second opinion, she has decided to take that Zija garbage.  UGH.  You wanna know what her real problem is?  It's twofold... she's fat and she is lazy.  There.  I said it.  She's fat and lazy!  I have a feeling that a lot of her issues are due to her weight. I'm not saying all -- she could have a real illness but she will never know because she just won't go and see another doc to get a second opinion!  Why do I think her weight is heavily involved?  She has to be over 300lbs.  That is not a guess on my part but rather an estimate.  The last I saw her, she was smaller and told me she was at either 265 or 285.  She is much larger now.  She has gained SO much weight.  :(  She has gained so much that her face doesn't even look like her.  I don't even know how to describe her without it sounding really mean and that isn't my intention.  The reason I say she is lazy is because the last time I saw her, which was exactly 2yrs. ago, she commented how I had lost weight and asked me what I had done.  I told her it was simple -- I eat a bit less and stay a bit busier.  I workout when I can but otherwise, I just try to stay active.  She said, "Oh, I've tried that stuff before and it doesn't work.  I just can't stick to it."  I then went on to tell her that it's not hard -- just take it slow making small changes and eventually it would become second nature and wouldn't feel so restrictive.  It all adds up.  I also told her that I don't do crazy low cals.  From my calculations, I would need about 1600 to maintain my goal weight, so that is what I aim for.  I could go faster, but meh.  Slow and steady is good for me because I fail when I'm too restrictive and place unrealistic expectations on myself.  Another friend there then went on to talk about Shakeology.  I have NO issues with Shakeology but it does NOT.... I repeat, it DOES NOT make you lose weight.  If you lose weight using it, it's simply a matter of you have consumed less calories.  It's great for nutrients and all that, but it isn't for weight loss.  So, this other friend went on to extoll the virtues of this miracle shake and yadda yadda and I told her what I just said.  She said it helped her lose.  I said it helped because you're getting more nutrients, you're paying more attention to your food, and over all, you are consuming less calories.  She said no, she wasn't.  I asked what her typical breakfast was and rattled off the numbers and she STILL refused to believe it.  So back to the original person.  She decided shakes were the way to go and started going to a local place and buying a protein shake every morning at nearly $5 a DAY!  She is also the one who complains of being broke.  *insert eye roll*  I looked up what she was having and not only was it nearly $5, it was almost 700 calories!  She ranted one day that she hadn't lost weight so I asked her if she had looked them up and she said no that it was a protein shake so she assumed it was healthy.  Um. NO.  I told her to look it up.  Instead of seeing the light, she then decided to make her own shakes at home and dropped a small fortune on a Nurtri-bullet.  *sigh*  And her 'trainer' was an ass pushing all this.  AARGH.  She did that and still nothing.  She did phentremine (sp?) and this and that and nada.  Nada but complain and complain.

All this time she was complaining about all this, I have been steadily doing what I do and I'm around 15lbs. thinner.  Maybe 20.  I can't remember for sure.  It's nothing dramatic, but it's not a gain.  And yet, she STILL doesn't get it!!!  She could be thinner by now!  She could have cut a lot of these issues!  She could've done all this and more!  But I'm not her mother OR her trainer, so I've held my tongue.  I don't mention it unless she posts and then she gets snarky so I've quit posting at all on her stuff.  Because it's STUPID!  I realize this isn't my issue and well, I can't change it.  But this type of mentality irks the absolute snot out of me.  I cannot get over the fact that so many people know how to change their problems and instead of doing the SIMPLE fix, they try to make it complicated!  She sticks with NOTHING and doesn't do ANY research looking for the 'quick fix'.  Well, it doesn't exist.  It's like someone who is lactose intolerant eating dairy all the time and is sick all the time refusing to cut back the damn dairy and then complaining, whining, and crying because they feel bad.  Lazy and stupid!  I'm betting dimes to dollars that she will end up getting gastric bypass before it is all over with.  And she will be one of the ones who gains it back because she still won't do the work.  Surgery is a tool and not the fix all.  I've had two friends do it and BOTH are struggling with keeping it off.  It isn't an easy road for anyone I know, anyone I've met, or anyone I've talked to.  The fix is simple, but there is work involved and apparently people won't do it anymore.  They make it out to be this impossible thing.  Do we all have moments where we feel like failures?  Of course!  But don't just keep on doing the same old crap over and over and expecting different results.

I don't get the extremes in the 'health' or weight world.  I just don't get it.  Is it because I've traveled that road and now I'm on the other side so I feel more strongly or what?  I'm wondering if it is.  Both sides of the spectrum bother me and I'm thinking that I am going to have to remove myself completely from it.  I WANT to be helpful.  That's the reality.  I know I have this mothering mentality and that I want to be good, I want to be helpful, I want people to like me and depend on me.  But I'm also not willing to keep doing the same things and getting the same results.  I've cut out a lot lately and while my stress level has been better, I also feel somewhat empty because I haven't had much social interaction because I feel like it's been this topic over and over lately and obviously, I find it volatile!  I try not to go on and on about it, but once in a while (like now!) it builds up and I have to spew it out.  UGH.  I guess it's one of those things where the extremes bug me.  You have the one side that thinks you HAVE to work out in a GYM,  you have to SWEAT, you have to go for HOURS, and you better get skinny, have abs, and fit a size two FAST or you DID IT WRONG!  And don't forget!  You MUST eat CLEAN -- 100%!!!!  Then there's the other side that does NOTHING.  Both sides complaining about different things and both making my head ring.  I can't seem to get away from it because I fight my own battles with it so it sticks out. 

So what am I going to do about it?  Nothing.  Yup.  I'm going to just ignore these posts when they pop up and do what I have been doing over the last few weeks.  Stay off the FB and if I comment, make sure I can comment in a kind and clear way or don't comment at all, block or turn off notifications for certain people and topics, and only visit MFP when I'm checking cals.  I've been staying off of the forums and the site period lately.  So, in reality, nothing is changing.  I just wanted to rant and get it off of my chest.  Their path is theirs to travel and sadly, I can't be their guide.  No.  NOT sadly.  Sadly, they can't be their own guide.  And I'm not willing to travel the path of trying to be their guide.  All I can do is be a casual observer and wish them luck.  And I do.  I wish both extremes luck and good will to find balance.  I wish that for them because it is what I wish for myself.  I'm working towards it.  I think ranting here helps with that.  It helps me to write it, to read it, and get it out. 

Until later....