Exhausting

Having my cycle is so exhausting.  I try to do so much because I feel motivated, but then I poop out really fast.  :/  So, here I sit now trying to make myself realize that I need to rest.  I have gotten a few things done like dishes, laundry is sorted and going, I got some priming done and other random things.  Like, I finally went through the big freezer and checked the small one to make sure that I got out any old food.  I'm trying to prioritize the things we need to be eating up.  So far, so good.  I want to keep working on the pantry, but I think that the freezer has to be priority at this point.  It's just hard when I'm trying to watch my calories!  So, I'm going to focus on the things like fruit, veg, fish, and randoms.  That leaves the convenience foods and daily foods.  Most of the easier things have been eaten up.  The hard things are going to be the bulk things like bananas.  I'm not sure what to do with all of them.  I was using them like crazy for smoothies, and I've been sorta over that so I haven't been using them at all.  I have tons of froyo, so I'm not sure what to do with them!  Maybe I should bake them...  I could make some loaves of banana bread and maybe some muffins.  They could be frozen to be warmed and eaten daily, yes?  Or maybe for milkshakes?  I just know I need to be using them up.  Otherwise, no matter how cheap I got them, that's moola out the window.  Although, I do think they were only about $5.  They were super marked down which is why I bought so many.  LOL

I did throw away some soy flour so far.  And today, I lost a honeydew.  I have no idea what happened, but it was gross.  I thought about returning it, but sometimes that is more than the trouble it is worth.  If I needed something from the store, I would go.  But... I don't.  I hate food waste.  UGH.  But sometimes it seems like there it is.  :/  I try to only throw away what is genuinely gross.  Like the fish.  But it doesn't mean I don't feel bad.  Even with most things, I can treat it to the dogs or compost it.  So just throwing something in the garbage makes me feel soooooo bad.  Like with the soy flour... we can't use it and I believe it was expired.  Which means garbage.  :(  AARGH!  I just hate to feel like I'm throwing money away.  I have to constantly remind myself that I try my hardest and that is all I can do.  In general, I really try to be as frugal as possible.  Not to the point of suffering or feeling super deprived.  Just.. I enjoy it.  It's just something I enjoy from shopping to cooking to sewing... I just enjoy it.  I like spending, but I enjoy it more if I get a good deal.  Like my new All Clad.  I love my shiny and expensive and LIFETIME cookware!  But I like it even more that as of now, I've saved over $400.  I have yet to pay full price.  I'm making due with some of the pieces I've had just so I can save the money to find what I REALLY want.  :)

Speaking of, maybe I should work on some sewing tonight.  I'm tired and I just can't see getting much more done at this point.  Other than maybe folding some laundry.  I need to go switch it out again.

I wanted to mention that I am tracking my food today even without my scale.  I don't think mine is salvageable, so I'm going to buy a new one tomorrow.  With a coupon!  :D  I even got in some exercise today.  I will be mentioning things and progress on here, but I've dropped everyone on MFP.  I don't think that part was helping me at all and so, I just want to use it for tracking and not socializing.  I did check my weight this morning... 185.  I would be more worked up but... I have my period and that was after I ate.  I would say I'm closer to 179-180.  Which means I've still been maintaining.  The thing is, I'm tired of maintaining.  I'm ready to see the 160's.  I need to buckle down and do it.  If the 180 is pretty close, then I'm only 13.5lbs. from a new goal of 60lbs. lost.  I'd really like to just get under and see 169!  171 is the lowest I had seen before.  I broke my original low of 173.  So time to break the new low.  166.5 is the new goal, though.  That would have me at an even 60lbs. lost from my highest.  From there, I'll just do what feels right.  I may do another 10 or even 20.  We will see how I feel when I get there. 

I guess that is about it for now.  I need to do a few things and my energy is low.  Plus, kiddos are probably finally getting hungry.  Until later!