Friday, May 15, 2015


Hello dear friends!  Well, if there ARE any friends out there reading this.  It's a ghost town here these days.  Anyways, what has been going on?  Lots of school wrap up!  That's really all.  Between field days, parties, cleaning out and tons of other stuff, it seems like the entire last week has focused on that and that alone. 

I'm still working on the pantry/freezer challenge and it's been going well.  As I mentioned in the other post, I DID end up having to get a few things like mini pancakes and chicken nuggets from the store, but that was beginning of last week.  I'm hoping to make it another week before I have to go, but I don't think that will happen.  We are low on strawberries and milk.  But I'm hoping to stretch it out until at least Tuesday since it is Friday now.  We will see.  I'm working hard on getting the grocery budget down to work with our new income.  We did, however, get some good news.  Hubby's first real check came through and it was better than we thought it was going to be.  But I am going to keep the budget where it is because there are still a few tweaks he needs to do like change life insurance and up retirement.  He already checked the life insurance and I believe that was around $20.  That leaves $30 to go to retirement a week.  I have zero in retirement and at this point, I'm not sure what to do about that without going back to work.  Hubby has a good amount.  Yes, we're married, but I should have my own, too.  I just haven't worked that out.  We have decided that is something we need to put a focus on when we get settled because it's important.  But with the change in jobs and pay, comes a change in all of our other things.  So, we're going to have to reorganize and get it together once we get everything in place with the new place. 

Speaking of 'new places', we have decided to put an offer in on one of the houses.  I've not seen it.  Only photos and video.  But hubby feels good about it, so we are probably going to go for it.  I'm pretty sure that sounds crazy.  LOL  I'm not totally convinced, but at this point I'm thinking it is our best offer.  We are making it contingent on inspection and on the sale of our home.  And we are asking for closing costs.  It's a foreclosure that has sad for a bit, so I don't know what the odds are of it working out.  I know they won't do any repairs caught on the inspection, but we just want to know the extent of issues before we get into it, ya know?  If it's more than we think we can handle, we would like the option to walk away.  We will see how it all works out!

We still haven't sold our place, though.  It's a concern but I'm not freaking too much because it's the end of the school year.  We've been so nutty, I can't imagine how other people are wrapping things up.  I've been trying to see the slowness as a blessing.  LOL  It really has been!  Especially on days that have been so packed with activities that I haven't been able to clean the house to 'show' levels.  I have been staying busy and doing things here and there.  I've been getting things ready for birthdays, I managed to get through one entire basket of papers.  I shredded and recycled so much!  HUGE improvement already in there.  Maybe I should work on that again later?  I'm not sure. 

I think that is all other than still no improvement in diet and exercise.  But at this point, my back is hurting so much and so often that I'm miserable.  Add that to sinus issues.... and UGH.  But it is what it is and I don't think there is much I can do.  Most days I feel I am doing good just to get through, ya know?  I know I should make myself a priority.  I know that it's important.  I just... I don't know.  I told my friend the other day that when I had the fall out with the neighbor over the whole her way of 'clean eating' being the only way, I let it get to me.  I let it eat at me and break down my confidence.  I knew what I had already been doing was working.  I had already lost over 50lbs.  I knew that a mostly healthy diet with some treats in there was the way to do it.  I knew just moderate working out was all I needed.  But I let her silly words eat at me and destroy my confidence.  Even if I knew what she said wasn't true.  Hell, she didn't even follow her own thing!  Photos of her online prove it.  Her other friends called her out on it.  She's still friends with them.  Just not with me.  At least they were when we were still connected on FB.  She deleted me and hubby deleted her.  She was still trying to be friendly with him but he felt that if she couldn't be nice to all of us, then what was the point.  I told him his choice -- they could remain friends.  He just said no.  In a way, I think that was sweet of him.

Anyways, I let her silly words get to me and even though I've been TRYING to let it go and move on, I've still felt angry over it.  And now I know why... because in my heart, I took her words to be true and gave up on what I was doing and I know worked for me.  Even though my head knows differently, her words and her harshness of throwing what I thought was a friendship away, ate at me.  Making me carry this stupid grudge because I am ANGRY.  And writing that out, I realize I'm not just angry at her.  I'm angry at myself.  How do you let go and move on?  I guess I somehow have to.  I thought I could before but randomly it rears it's ugly head.  And then the cycle begins over again of feeling angry and upset. 

Since I'm not sure what to do or how to deal with it all, I think I'm going to get off of here and get going on something.  Sometimes being busy helps my brain to deal and for once, today isn't busy.  No showings, no school stuff, and nothing planned.  So, I have the entire day to do whatever I like.  And as I've mentioned, my list is always got something on it!  LOL  Off I go!  Until later.

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